No-Poop-Fairies #2 pencil sharpener keeps kids sharp: Kenny Be’s back-to-school supplies

A few of this year’s back-to-school supplies are hot collectibles… No-Poop-Fairies #2 Pencil and Sharpener: Jefferson County’s thicker-diameter pencils keep tiny hands from cramping, so student’s can continue to pick up pest waste during after-school dog walks. The dog-shaped sharpener, illustrated above, also promotes proper pick up and disposal of pet “shavings.”

Below, the Mayor Hancock numberless calculator is perfect for recessionary spending…

Michael Hancock Numberless Calculator: The Mayoral Power Pocket Calculator shown above features a large eight-function keypad that can figure top-secret transition-team spending and city budgets without the embarrassing proof of numbers. Below, using the Hard Wood Greek Week Rush helps find the full measure of a pledge… Hard Wood Frat House Ruler: Contemporary design features a smooth surface with “pencil” groove for firmer holds. Numerals are delineated to provide a more positive measure of every pledge. The instrument pictured above will help University of Denver campus Greeks turn their reputations for hazing into rituals for praising.

More from our Kenny Be/Comics archive: “USA Pro Cycling challenges the entire state of Colorado: Kenny Be’s Worst-Case Scenario.”