Politics

Off to a Bang

A buttock? Male, female? Muscular. Hair. More hair. Definitely male. REVEAL hard-core gay sex scene between a flawless blond bodybuilder-hooker and a bald, middle-aged 300-pound man. A cell phone rings. The fat man reaches for it, hits a button to stop the ringing. Back to sex. A hotel phone starts ringing. And ringing. And ringing. The fat man picks it up and hangs up to stop the ringing. It rings again immediately. The fat man tries the same trick. And it rings again immediately. Finally, the phone wins. As the fat man talks on the phone, the hooker continues to do his job.

Fat man: Yeah … Harold, can I call you ba— … Uh-huh … I still haven’t deci— … This really isn’t a good time for— … Please. I have to— … I just— … I need— … (Desperate to get back to sex, gives up.) Okay … Yes, I’m saying yes … No, you can’t announce it yet … I’m giving you my word … I’ve got to hang up now … Okay. (Hangs up.) Hooker (looking up from his work): Are you a superdelegate?

"Four Days in Denver," a piece in the current New York magazine by Lawrence O'Donnell Jr., starts off with a bang, as a superdelegate, um, consults closely with a Mike Jones-like character in a Denver hotel room. From there, O'Donnell, a former writer/producer for The West Wing, spins an entertaining scenario of a deadlocked convention, full of political insights.

Too bad, though, that New York didn't give the assignment to John Wells, the executive producer of West Wing who actually grew up in Denver -- and might have known that Mike Jones saw clients in his studio.

Even superdelegates. -- Patricia Calhoun

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Patricia Calhoun co-founded Westword in 1977; she’s been the editor ever since. She’s a regular on the weekly CPT12 roundtable Colorado Inside Out, played a real journalist in John Sayles’s Silver City, once interviewed President Bill Clinton while wearing flip-flops, and has been honored with numerous national awards for her columns and feature-writing.
Contact: Patricia Calhoun