We've cataloged the weirdest posts on Denver Craigslist a number of times over the years, so we've got a pretty good sense of the oddities that can be found on the site. But even we were caught off guard by the ad "IT Girl Needed ASAP." It's been flagged for removal and will probably be gone soon if it hasn't already vanished. Fortunately, though, a web surfer managed to save the text and images for posterity, dubbing the results "creepy craigslist guy." Based on the twisted pics and info below, we think you'll agree.
The term "IT Girl" isn't used by coincidence. The text stresses that the man behind the ad wants "Ladies Only," for reasons that have to do with compensation.
"Your IT skills for dates with me on me! No kidding," writes the man -- presumably the guy at the center of this distinguished-looking head shot, although there's no way to tell for certain:
If the IT abilities needed are gender-specific, the ad doesn't explain why. But it's easy to come up with a hypothesis. "I am desperate to get IT help implementing a new business adventure in online Internet marketing and am overwhelmed with the initial implementation," the ad continues. "You give me your IT skills and time and I give you the full tilt Goddess treatment! Dates with me, on me, messages [massages?] with scented oils, the romance & sensuality...full montey [sic] head to foot!
"I am absolutely not kidding!" the copy reiterates. "Doesn't matter who you are. You got IT skills, I got romance skills....let's barter."
The sign-off: "Lots and lol:)"
Laughs out-loud may be triggered by extra photos included in the material sent to us. For instance, this one has a rough-and-ready feel thanks to the wife-beater T-shirt and the wacky fashion choice of a trucker cap and sunglasses worn inside while posing by a blazing fire:
That "sensuality" mentioned earlier gets amped up considerably in other images. As you can see, there's more than a little chestiness in this photo....
...and then even more....
...after which he offers -- well, not exactly the full monty, but half of one. Note the proximity of the bed and a nearby cello, likely included to give possible staffers an idea of how they'll be played...or maybe plucked:
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It's unknown whether an "IT girl" took Mr. Smooth up on his kind offer. If not, maybe it's because he was trying so hard to come across as The Most Interesting Man in the World that he apparently didn't realize he'd just created the Creepiest Craigslist IT ad ever.