Cat litter! No, a giant bottle of generic mouthwash! Hang on -- it was....
9. My disambiguate dork This post reads in its entirety: "Would be smart enough to not sneeze into the wind."Good to know.
Page down to continue reading our Missed Connections countdown. 8. Tall rollerskating tattooed girl (Tracks Nightclub Denver) "I wanted to get your number but we got split up and I can't remember your last name," the writer notes, adding, "I'm the tall guy with the rose tattoo."A future love affair written in ink.
7. Luthern Hospital, ICU 19, 4th floor Here's a message that's grandmother-approved."I walked in to see my grandma with my family and you gave me such a lovely smile while you were at the computer," writes our correspondent. "You probably won't ever read this, but thank you for taking care of her :)"
Awww!
Page down to continue reading our Missed Connections countdown. 6. Christy with the dead Yamaha Vino (Broomfield) "You were pushing your scooter because it wouldn't start," the post reminds. "Check the kill switch and make sure it is on!"Being bossy may make your intended hit the kill switch on this relationship....
5. Trout, word-lover, one hot coffee man "I wrote another poem," announces this person -- and it's a long one. But here's an excerpt:"Hearing from you, even that youre unable to befriend me , would be a relief from my inner demons.
"Because darlin' Trout,
"I would happily jump...
"Out of my car to say hello, "Climb up to see the stars, "Wear my crown of clovers, feed you the last of my stone soup, pet a rescue dog, share "some peaches, drink champagne or iced coffees, bake a cobbler , bend formboard, "laugh with my head thrown back , "believe that the third time is the charm, or try to write just "One "True poem"
The author concedes that "I never expect you'll read or be moved enough to respond, expect for a possible shrug of your shoulders."
Does a trout have shoulders? Even a darlin' one?
Page down to continue reading our Missed Connections countdown. 4. Wendys on 6th and Speer "You were the really nice looking guy who commented on my tie at lunch today," the post reads. "Thanks."And thank you.
3. Missed but not lost (FOUND) "What was once for surely lost has once again been found. The same mistakes will not be made gorgeous. Anxiously looking forward to so many things to come. XOXOXOXOXO!!!"We have no idea what this means -- but we like it!
Page down to continue reading our Missed Connections countdown. 2. Goodbye Bird "That is not how goodbyes are said," writes our heartbroken poster. "They are said directly. Kindly, lovingly. In 100 words. This is the goodbye you deserve."And the farewell in question?
"I love...the sound of your voice. your sweet eyes. the way your mouth moves when your tongue rolls over the words you love. the concentrated stillness that you get when you write. the fact that you need conversational foreplay. the way you tilt your head so slightly when you sneak a shy glance. the possessive way you draw me when your hands meet my hips. the imprint of your soul on paper. the way you freeze when I kiss your soft neck. the feel of your presence. the soft sound you make when you stop holding your breath. you.
"Goodbye, sweet bird. Go in peace."
Excuse us while we burst into prolonged sobs.
1. Bye This post runs the emotional gamut without using a single letter. To whit:":) :( :|"
That just about covers everything, doesn't it?
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More from our Lists & Weirdness archive: "Photos: Top ten Texts From Last Night out of the 303."
