If you think matchmakers are outmoded in the age of dating websites, think again. Michele Fields of Bon Jour Matchmaking Service is marking her 25th year of bringing people together the old-fashioned way.
We asked Fields to offer some advice for those looking to find that perfect someone, and she came through with the following photo-illustrated list, which she entitles, "Ten Trade-offs to Capture the Love You Seek." Count down her tips below, and click here to visit her website.
Number 10: They've never been married before even though they've been in long-term relationships "There are lots of reasons one does not get married. Not the least of which is they just plain haven't met the right person. Don't count them out, maybe they wanted to marry someone and that person declined. Maybe they were working their way up in business and/or travelling a lot so as not to have the time to cultivate a relationship. Don't count them out based on that.... It's better than having multiple divorces behind them!" Number 9: You're a fanatic about perfect grammar and they are less articulate than you see yourself with "These days even news anchors speak poor English. The announcers for sports events have awful English and all of these people have done alright for themselves. If the person is open to it you can delicately suggest other ways of saying something that is more grammatically correct. They may change if they have any ambition in life and want to impress you." Continue to keep counting down Michele Fields' ten trade-offs to true love. Number 8: He's not as well-endowed as you usually prefer/She's more or less sexual than your typical type "Hopefully, if all goes well, you will reach a point in the relationship where that takes a lesser role and your main focus is on the inside. With age everything changes and you have to adjust." Number 7: They remind you of someone you loved who hurt you "Get over that! If they remind you of that person than whether it be appearance or personality you were attracted to that. This is not that person so you should give them a chance, what do you have to lose?" Continue to keep counting down Michele Fields' ten trade-offs to true love. Number 6: He's shorter than you would like/she's taller than your usual type "This is more a woman's issue and I'll tell you exactly why...women have poor self-images and always think they're fat and big. If they are with a larger man it makes them feel more petite. Also, they always cite that they like to wear heels and don't want to tower over their mate. Men actually are fairly open about dating a somewhat taller woman." Number 5: They are shyer/more awkward than you usually date "Still waters run deep.... Some shy awkward people are the most passionate once they feel comfortable. We are all attracted to the 'life of the party' but they are usually flaky, not making for the best lifetime partner." Continue to keep counting down Michele Fields' ten trade-offs to true love. Number 4: He has less hair than you'd like/she's a bit heavier than you'd like "We're all human. Somebody married Dolly Parton when she was chunky and look at her now...HOT! Women have married bald man and had long, happy marriages. After all, you could marry someone thin and they gain weight after the marriage. Or marry someone with a great head of hair who, with age, loses it...then what?" Number 3: They are older than you pictured yourself with "Men in particular struggle with this. They describe themselves as fit, look sooooo much younger, active but they cannot understand why there wouldn't be women closer to their age that are the same way. Thus they exclude women who they could have a wonderful and happy life with." Continue to keep counting down Michele Fields' ten trade-offs to true love. Number 2: They are less educated or wealthy than you fantasized "Citing the most obvious example, Bill Gates and many other who are creative geniuses and successful due to their perhaps unconventional or newly discovered work, i.e., Twitter, the Internet, Facebook, etc., etc. Would you exclude these people from potential matches?" Number 1: They are not physically the type you envisioned yourself with "The women want height and hair and the men want 'Miss America' (lean/thin, beautiful, sometimes much younger) because that is who they usually date. Then why come to me and ask for the same type that isn't working for you?"
Here are some other posts from Michele Fields:
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