Who's Going to Cast the First Stone? Not Boebert's Truth Brigade

In case anyone is still confused about Lauren Boebert's intellectual readiness for national office, she's made April Fools' Day stretch to mid-month, providing still more examples of why she's a little shy in that department (if not of sex acts in a public theater).

The most recent embarrassment for her constituents in CD4 (and voters in CD3, who put her in office in the first place, and really, anyone in Colorado) came on April 1...but sadly, Boebert wasn't pulling a prank.

At a House Oversight and Government Reform Committee’s Task Force on the Declassification of Federal Secrets meeting focused on the still-lingering questions surrounding the JFK assassination, she began with this: "Hopefully, we can stay on topic for the rest of this hearing." And then she proceeded to go on a head-slappingly stupid tangent.

“Mr. Stone, you wrote a book accusing LBJ of being involved in the killing of President Kennedy," Boebert began with that air of practiced condescension that comes from overcompensation for the near-constant feeling of being in a position waaaaaay over your head. "Do these most recent releases confirm or negate your initial charge?"

Filmmaker Oliver Stone, who made 1991's JFK, looked confused, and leaned over to ask his companions something along the lines of "Do you have any idea what she's talking about? Does she?"

Journalist Jefferson Morley, who was sitting with Stone, realized Boebert's error: She was referring to a book by disgraced politico Roger Stone, who was not present, mistaking him and his work for the man who was, Oliver Stone.

Like any kid caught faking a book report in front of class, Boebert at first tried to dismiss the grievous error. "I may have misinterpreted, and I apologize for that," she offered, then proceeded to confuse the issue more. "But there seems to be some alluding of, like you said, incompetence or some sort of involvement there on the back end. Sorry, I’m going to move on.”

Oh, if only she would.
But Boebert never gives up, much to the chagrin of those who appreciate well-considered dialogue in their politics. Like the corrupt tangerine idol before whom she genuflects, making a mistake just calls for doubling down. And so came her latest effort this last week: the Boebert Truth Brigade.

If that sounds like a group formed to point out all the untruths committed by Representative Boebert, that's because it probably should be. Instead, it's a smoke-and-mirrors thing concocted by her team in order to — what else?— make some money.

"Fellow conservative," her emailed announcement begins, "I've got a bombshell for you. [She doesn't.] I've heard the whispers in DC's backrooms... [Here, she means D.C., as in Washington, and not the comic book company that tells stories about Superman and Batman and Wonder Woman.] The Uniparty's got a secret plan to take me out. [If only.]"

That last bit — the "Uniparty" — is a new invention from the Far Right. Having to accept that not everyone in the GOP is willing to roll over and show their lily-white bellies to Trump, it's now lumped the Democrats in with what remains of the rational and principled Republican party, calling this mythical group the "Uniparty." It's about as good a name as the one Trump came up with for those who opposed the economy-slaughtering tariffs that he's been flip-flopping on: Panicans. (Stop trying to make "fetch" happen, too, Donald.)

The ensuing paragraphs of Boebert's email invoke all the ultra-conservative buzzwords: "illegals" who rig elections, "Soros cash," "big tech censorship" and "fake polls." The only thing that's new? The inclusion of war-mongering "neocons." But we'll have to forgive that last one, because the tangerine team is still perfecting its illogical attack lines against their former allies and enablers in the GOP.

So what to do? What to do? How can average Americans who've bought all the lies and agreed that the truth is a lie and lies are the truth if they come from the right mouths fight against these enemies of the state?

Enter the Boebert Truth Brigade. For $35, you can join the cause and receive "insider updates on their dirty tricks," as well as the "next moves" Boebert has planned to defeat them.

It's essentially the same deal that breakfast cereal companies offered in the 1950s. Join this club, and you'll get a letter from this cowboy actor and a secret decoder ring. Those campaigns worked because they were aimed at children who didn't know any better than to believe that their hero knew their name, thought them special, considered them one of the gang.

The difference? This is aimed at adults who don't know better. And choose, consistently, not to.

How do we know it's all just bullshit? Well, the email goes on to say that $35 will get you in the group, sure, but $50 or $100, and "we'll hit them even harder." Again: It's cereal-box logic. How much harder will Boebert be able to hit? Apparently, anywhere from $15 to $65 more. What does that mean? Nothing at all.

"Rush your support now," the email concludes, "because they're counting on us to blink."

Who that "they" is remains unclear (leave the conspiracy theories to Oliver Stone), but we're not. To anyone out there who's considering joining the Boebert Truth Brigade: We're not counting on you to blink. We're counting on you to think. And that won't cost a dime.