Schmuck of the Week

Shmuck of the Week: The missing (?) Sniagrab line champ

Well, this is all very confusing.

First of all, this is just my second Sniagrab ("bargain spelled backwards!") season in Denver, and it still baffles me. As far as I can gather, scores of people who really like to ski, and can afford to ski a lot, every year set up camp outside various Sports Authorities around Colorado in order to be first in line at the store's annual ski-equipment sale. This is a little Andy Rooney of me, I realize, but if they can afford to ski so much, can't they afford to pay full price? And wouldn't they want top-of-the-line equipment? And why do they call headphones "headphones" anyway? I mean, you can't call anyone with them, and they go in your ear, not your head. That doesn't make much sense to me.

Anyway, I guess it's a pretty big sale, and people enjoy the community of camping out every year. But then I read earlier this week that a woman from Texas -- first name Reba, middle name Crazy -- had plopped down her tent a full ten days before tomorrow's sale.

I thought that was pretty bizarre, so I considered giving her this week's Shmuck of the Week award. But I wanted to talk to her first. Because while she may be a shmuck, she might also be my hero. Ten days sleeping on a sidewalk just to get a discount on last year's Solomons? You're either totally insane or totally bad-ass.

So earlier today, I cruised over to Sniabrab to interview this mysterious Reba, and wouldn't you know it: She's MIA. Her tent is there, but it's empty:

Joe the Crazy Scottish Ski Bum, who's been coming for Sniagrab for years and at some point anointed himself Sultan of the Ski Bums, reports that she went missing last night and if she doesn't show up by 10 p.m., she's out. (The situation bears an uncanny resemblance to Top Gun, when you think about it. Reba was Number One, but Reba lost it and turned in her wings. Now Joe is Number One).

Watch the video above for Joe's breakdown of the story, and we'll update this blog later with Reba's whereabouts. But until then, she's the Shmuck of the Week.

See previous Shmucks here.

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Joe Tone
Contact: Joe Tone