Any day that includes a trip to Wal-Mart is bound to suck, low-low prices notwithstanding. But when it ends with getting your ass kicked by a guy in a wheelchair and then a trip to jail, it's time to change your lucky socks.
Kevin Salyers, 34, was in a Westminster Wal-Mart recently when he decided that a discount superstore was a fine place to dust off his creep moves. According to police, he sexually assaulted a girl in the store before trying to flee, probably to a nearby Toys "R" Us. (It's unclear what, exactly, they believe he did.)
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As Salyers tried to bail, a witness yelled for someone to stop him. That's when Cameron Aulner, wheelchair-bound from a Christmas-light accident, rolled over to Salyers and tackled him, holding him there until police showed up.
And Salyers? He's been charged with sexual assault. Way less importantly, he's our Shmuck of the Week.
Meet more shmucks in our Shmuck of the Week archive.