Aurora's Jesse Dennis Dimmick was already wanted for questioning in a murder when he went on the lam recently, eventually finding himself in a police chase with Kansas authorities. And while murder is a little too severe to label Dimmick a shmuck, what he did next more than qualifies.
During his chase in Dover, Kansas, Dimmick, 23, crashed his car into the home of a newlywed couple. Obviously not a fan of Cops, Dimmick was not aware that this was the point at which he was supposed to lie down and start thinking about which job he'd want in prison (something in bedding, I'm guessing). Instead, he stormed the home and took the couple hostage. That's where it gets weird, as our friends at Truecrimereport.com explain:
Despite being technically held hostage, the Dover, Kansas couple still proved to be gracious hosts. They offered Dimmick drink, pillows and a blanket to rest his weary head after a hard day of eluding police.
While the couple watched TV, Dimmick decided to crash in their bedroom two hours into his hostage situation, which really doesn't speak well of his criminal stamina, does it? The Rowleys bolted from their home, only to find the house surrounded by the cops.
Those cops stormed the home and wounded Dimmick, who's still in a Topeka hospital. He was charged this week with kidnapping. More important, he's our Shmuck of the Week.
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
Meet more shmucks in our Shmuck of the Week archive.