Ten Types of Vaccinated Denver People Still Wearing Masks

Ten Types of Vaccinated Denver People Still Wearing Masks
Photo by Ani Kolleshi on Unsplash
Keep Westword Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Denver and help keep the future of Westword free.

Shortly after both the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and the State of Colorado announced that vaccinated people could forgo COVID-19 mask use in most places, we published "Ten Types of Unvaccinated Denver Mask Liars," in which we speculated about the kinds of un-immunized Coloradans who were supposed to still be donning facial coverings — but weren't.

Potential membership in this group remains large. According to the June 14 numbers for Colorado on the New York Times COVID-19 vaccine tracker, 32 percent of adults age eighteen and over in the state have yet to receive a single dose, and 41 percent aren't yet fully protected against the novel coronavirus.

Nonetheless, around 80 percent of the customers at most metro Denver stores we've visited over the past few weeks have been unmasked. Meanwhile, many of those whose faces were covered fall into demographic groups in which vaccinations are widespread. In other words, plenty of folks who are supposed to still be wearing masks aren't, and many who have official permission to leave them off are keeping them on.

What kinds of vaccinated Coloradans are still wearing masks? Our ten best guesses:

1. The Contrarian
If everybody else is doing something, the Contrarian will damn well do the exact opposite. Take that, status quo!

Ten Types of Vaccinated Denver People Still Wearing Masks (2)
Photo by Filip Bunkens on Unsplash

2. The Fashion Plate
Some people bought masks in every color of the rainbow, to match each outfit they own — and they're sure as hell not going to let them go to waste.

3. The Conspiracist
The government lies about everything, right? So you can bet it's lying about it being safe to go without masks — and even if the reasons make no sense, they'd definitely shock you!

4. The Insecure Liberal
There's nothing worse for the Insecure Liberal than being mistaken for a Republican.

5. The Bad Skin Catch 22 Victim
Wearing masks has given the Bad Skin Victim a terrible case of acne around the mouth — and the only way to hide it is to keep wearing masks.

6. The Paranoid
Only a tiny percentage of vaccinated people catch COVID-19, and most of the cases are mild — but that tiny percentage has the Paranoid written all over it.

7. The Good Example
If the Good Example is still wearing a mask, it should make everyone realize it's still a good idea — except that it doesn't.

8. The Insulter
Wearing a mask lets you mutter rude comments about people and then pretend it wasn't you. Win-win!

9. The Armed Robber
Give me all your money — and be grateful I was looking out for your well-being when I took it.

Ten Types of Vaccinated Denver People Still Wearing Masks (4)EXPAND
Photo by Michael Roberts

10. Me
Although lately, I've been inching closer to the fence.

Keep Westword Free... Since we started Westword, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Denver, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Denver with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.


Join the Westword community and help support independent local journalism in Denver.


Join the Westword community and help support independent local journalism in Denver.