Trashy yard shines the cold light of day on holiday decorations: Kenny Be's Yard Arteology

Yard Arteology: The study of neighbors through their lawn decorations... By day, the white electrical cords that power the lights of the holiday yard display pictured above look like an alien plant species that has slithered across the yard to strangle Santa Claus and consume a child's tricycle. Christmas looks bad in broad daylight... The Hilltop neighborhood home pictured above is a perfect presentation of America's two most popular forms of holiday yard art. The background Nativity scene is the classic plastic mold version, while the more contemporary inflatable display lies deflated up front.

Compared to the molded holiday yard decorations, which require a considerable amount of storage space for 49 weeks of the year, the inflatable can easily be stuffed into a thirteen-gallon trash bag. Unfortunately, the inflatable looks like a pile of laundry during the day, while the Creche characters remain at the decorative ready for passersby the whole day long.

Surprisingly, these Nativity scene characters are still made in the United States, at the General Foam Plastics factory in Norfolk, Virginia. The thirteen characters seen above are sold in nine different sets, but a lightbulb is included in only five: #C3680 3-Piece Joseph, Mary and Jesus Nativity set; bulb included in Jesus only. #C3690 3-Piece Wiseman set; bulbs not included. #C3740 Shepherd with one sheep; bulb included in sheep only. #C3780 Camel; bulb not included. #C3380 Sheep; bulb included. #C3800 Cow; bulb include. #C3760 Donkey; bulb included. #C61770 Angel; bulb not included.

So, lightbulbs are included in Jesus, two sheep, a cow and a donkey. That none of the adult figures (or camel) comes with an inner light suggests that the manufacturers are evangelicals who believe that only the babies and cuter beasts of the Earth are pure at heart. Below, see how these lightless figures update their Facebook pages...

Constant repetition tells us that the pictured plastic Nativity characters are posed in prayer. But from the street, they all look like they are texting! This being the Hilltop neighborhood, they are probably submitting complaints to code enforcement at denvergov.org that a pile of what looks like old clothes needs to be removed from the lawn before it attracts homeless people.

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