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Weirdest Denver Halloween Missed Connections: "Don't Touch My D*ck"

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It's been nearly a week since Halloween.

But items continue to pop up on Denver Craigslist Missed Connections from people desperate to get back in touch with costumed someones they encountered during their revels.

Quite a few of the posts are typically lusty hook-up invites. But several of them are flat-out hilarious, including the guy who drunkenly went to a random house dressed as a burrito and the woman taken by a guy who told her, "Don't touch my dick."

Check out our five favorites, photo-illustrated for your pleasure and shared with links to the original items, just in case you're the person who could make the author's dreams come true.

Grandpa Sweater on Halloween — w4m (Tavern downtown)

Sometimes I forget that not everyone knows me and my sense of humor! I'm so sorry that I teased you about your grandpa sweater and lack of costume! Please don't throw away your entire wardrobe.... I bet your sweater is really warm!! You and your friend seemed awesome. I'm putting this out there as a universal apology! Sometimes you meet people you just know you want to see again.

Supergirl costume! — m4w (Littleton)

Group of girls tonight, some in superhero costumes, and I just wanted to say OMG THANK YOU, I loooove Supergirl, huge fan of her, I find her ridiculously hot, lonely, complex, and such an amazing character, and it was really, really cool to see someone wearing her costume tonight at my front door. I've never seen a real Supergirl costume, ever.

I think there were six of you, and ALL of your guys' costumes were just gorgeous and incredible, they looked expensive haha. You'll never see this, but I wish I had called out to you and said hi. I was too busy handing out candy I guess. No agenda, nothing creepy, just really thrilled to see ya!

Drunken Halloween confusion — m4w (Whittier neighborhood)

It was about midnight on Halloween.... I was already completely intoxicated and had left a party for a walk to try and forget about the woman who blew me off and didn't show up to the party. Long story short... I thought I was back at the house of the party, but clearly, I was mistaken. I vaguely remember pounding on your front door trying to get back in until you answered and demanded I leave. I was so confused and thought you were screwing with me. When you told me you were calling the police, I finally realized I was at the wrong house and staggered off. Apparently, I made my way back to the correct house nearly an hour later after taking a nap on a lawn somewhere. My sincere apologies and I feel terrible for waking you up.... The fact that I was probably wrapped up in my Chipotle burrito costume didn't help, but I really thought I was back at the party. Best wishes and again, I'm sorry.

Cutie at The Ranch Halloween — w4m

We stood next to each other waiting for drinks near the end of the night, waited a while. I make casual convo outside briefly.

I was a unicorn, I believe you were a vampire in your sexy white shirt.

I would love to connect. Reply back with my hair color xoxo

On Halloween, you said "Don't touch my dick" — m4m (Denver bars)

Okay, I know he won't reply but I wanted to write about it anyway.

I was at Xbar (I think that was the name) on Colfax. This cute guy practically throughs himself at me, seemed emotional about a death in the family, kinda fucked up drunk, etc. He's haning on me, lot of body contact.

At some point, I let me hand graze his crotch and he said, "Don't touch my dick, man." Not unfriendly but just telling me. I said I was looking to get laid so we parted aimicably enough.

Later across the bar, I saw him through himself on some guy — who did not find it as charming as I had - and that guy pushed him off. Someone hustled him out the door.

Anyone got any more back story on this?


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