A bad night in Boulder at Tahona

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I was thinking that they could probably hear my stomach rumbling from three tables away.

“So, what are you going to have?” Laura asked.

“Everything,” I said. “One of everything. Maybe two.”

“I’m serious, Jay. What are you going to have?”

“What are you going to have?”

“I don’t know what I’m going to order until I know what you’re going to order.”

We’ve done this dance -- this critical do-si-do, negotiating plates and courses -- once or twice a week, almost every week, for years.

“Seriously, just order,” I said. “Get whatever you want. I’ll eat everything else.”

We’d been wandering around Boulder most of the afternoon -- late-late summer sun and the thin atmosphere making me increasingly frantic for cold beer and Mexican food. If I were an astronaut, NASA would have to load the cargo bay with kegs of Tecate and little tubes filled with taco paste because otherwise, I’d go mad -- space crazy over the lack of proper grub, constantly trying to wrest the controls from the pilot and aim the shuttle for the moon, where Mexico has been building a secret lunar base for years, complete with taquerias and loncheras and places to buy sparkly piñatas. The lack of food and beer is one of the reasons I’ve never become and astronaut. Also, I’m in lousy shape. And you can’t smoke inside a space helmet.

So instead, I became a restaurant critic and somehow ended up at Tahona in Boulder, Colorado eating…

Well, you’ll just have to check out this week’s Cafe review to see what I ended up eating. But let me say this right now: a tube full of astronaut taco paste would have been better than some of the food I had at Tahona. As a matter of fact, if anyone ever sees space tacos for sale, pick me up a bunch so that I can keep them in my car for emergencies. I promise I’ll pay you back…

Beyond all the talk of tacos and astronauts, there's also behind-the-scenes action at the former Neighborhood Flix in Bite Me. I spent a long time talking with one of the owners, finding out just what went wrong that brought the place down in under a year.

And finally, there's some good news for pizza lovers in the south suburbs. For Second Helpings, I returned to one of the two surviving locations of the Tonti’s chain, where I had excellent pizza, the same pie that won Tonti's a Best of Denver award years ago.

All that and more when the new issue hits the stands -- or the web. And for those of you who missed my posts yesterday, scroll down for the scoop on what happened to two of Denver’s more notable restaurants owned by one big restaurateur, Jim Sullivan. And keep checking back often for all the breaking news, weird rants, candy reviews and scurrilous rumors making the rounds of Denver’s restaurant scene. -- Jason Sheehan

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