Frankly, I think Jamba Juice owes me more than a buck off for the urp-factor of the e-mail I just opened: Jamba Juice Launches Cheeseburger Chill Smoothie!

"What's beefy, smothered in cheese, loaded with your favorite condiments and blended to creamy perfection? Jamba Juice's new Cheeseburger Chill smoothie, of course!" reads this nauseau-inducing missive. " With other quick service restaurant companies thriving on the most popular American dish of all time, Jamba has decided to enter the fray -- taking the burger to a whole new level, in a total Jamba way."

And in that total Jamba way, it's just a gag (literally) designed to get you to the website cheeseburgerchill.com, where you can watch a video and then get a $1 off deal on any of the Jamba smoothies -- none of which include cheeseburgers.

By the way, the Jamba e-mail ends with this sign-off: "Stay Real."

• Calhoun: Wake-Up Call