Fast food logos make you impatient

God grant me patience -- or at least a burger.

New research with 57 volunteers indicates there's a real reason it's called fast food. After his study, Chen-Bo Zhong at Toronto University came to the scientific conclusion that "fast food represents a culture of time efficiency and instant gratification."

I usually find that to be true when I'm on an insta-date with a fistful of dollars and a stiffy -- vodka, that is.

The students who participated in this study were shown a sequence of six logos from famous fast-food chains in quick succession -- McDonald's, Burger King, KFC, Subway, Wendy's and Taco Bell -- blinding them with big noses, huge heads, greasy fingers, Jared, Gidget and a midget dog.

They all became impatient, notes researcher Sanford DeVoe, which could be why you hammer down hamburgers at fast-food establishments even if there's no reason to rush the meal.

Zhong's study also showed that if you were offered a small sum of money now versus the promise of a large amount later, the volunteers would take their dollars now. (If Zhong was smart, he would pay them in American dollars -- exchange rate and all.)

The researchers concluded that there is an "unconscious goal of saving time with the unexpected consequence of induction haste and impatience" when you're thinking about fast food.

What happens when I think about foie gras?

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