You betcha! Wine & Spirits America nabs Sarah Palin as keynote conference speaker

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Oh, ick. In one of the worst mouth picks of the week, the Wine & Spirits Wholesalers of America, a national trade organization representing the wholesale tier of the wine and spirits industry, plucked Sarah Palin, the former beauty pageant bimbo, governor of Russia Alaska and 2008 Republican vice presidential lamebrain, as the grammar slasher keynote speaker at their annual convention in Las Vegas later this year.

If you're wondering which brilliant intellect made the decision to allow Palin to use her English degree to further slay the English language in front of a large audience, look no further than Craig Wolf, the trade association's president and CEO, who had this to say:

Governor Palin is a great supporter of America's free enterprise system and understands that industries like the beverage alcohol industry play a key role in driving our national economy. We're proud and honored to welcome her as a speaker. We expect she will share with the convention attendees her analysis of the current political environment and her vision for America's future.

Palin's vision for America's future is about as clear as a glass of swill that's floating with sludge, but more to the point, what the hell does America's favorite crackpot know about stomping grapes or distilling whiskey? True, her new gig with FOX News might have made her reach for the liquor bin in premature celebration, and god only knows how many embarrassed republicans Palin has turned into bona fide drunks, or how many unsuspecting college students have unwittingly flunked because of all those late-night drinking games that required them to chug every time the ex-guv flashed her toothy white smile, pumped her fist in the sky and boomed, "Youbetcha!!!!!" or "Joe Sixpack American." Apparently, all of that alcoholic good will is sufficient preparation for the podium.

In any case, the trade association has made its pick, and now the only question that remains is this: Will Palin come to the conference clutching a six-pack of Moose Drool?

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