Top five foods to stock up on when you're about to get fired

The roof you're working under is about to cave in. What to do? Start thinking about what you're going to eat for the rest of the week -- while you can still afford to eat.

1) After packing your desk, stop by the nearest McDonald's and ask your still-employed friend behind the counter to give you a burger that's about to be tossed after its fifteen minutes of fame under the heat lamp.

2) Next stop: your local grocery store. Look in the clearance area of the meat department. If you find a morsel of gristle that's past the selling date, that's a big score -- the store can't sell it, and will probably give it to you. Winner Winner chicken dinner!

3) One word: ramen. Yes, you thought you were done with this after college. But you were wrong. Freeze-dried noodles packaged in plastic wrap have been a staple of the unemployed since before plastic wrap was invented.

4) While at the grocery store, grab some Kool-Aid. While many people might want to stock up on their favorite flavor of ice cream for solace, that's expensive, and you need to think about budgeting. Once you're home, take a packet of Kool-Aid, mix it with a pint of the cheapest vodka and pour it all into an ice cube tray, then freeze. This is far more economical -- and efficient -- than passé Jello shots.

5) Above all, remember to stock up on friends -- particularly the ones who are still employed, so they can pick up your drink tab when you head to the neighborhood watering hole with the free happy-hour buffet, which is about to become your regular dinner stop. (Love those fried items!) After you've been fired, these are the best friends with benefits.

Follow @CafeWestword on Twitter


Sponsor Content

Newsletters

All-access pass to the top stories, events and offers around town.

  • Top Stories
    Send:

Newsletters

All-access pass to top stories, events and offers around town.

Sign Up >

No Thanks!

Remind Me Later >