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Happy Freaky Friday on Thursday, since Westword is closed tomorrow! For a special Fourth of July treat, I give you this reason to love America, in all its glory. I have never been more proud that the USA declared their independence from tyrant Britain as I was when watching this atrocious ode to fast food from British pop group the Fast Food Rockers. Sure we have Britney Spears, but this piece of crap reached #2 in the British pop charts (according to infallible Wikipedia, anyway). I swear to god, my IQ dropped ten points while I was watching it. Conversely, I think I gained six pounds. It’s not only stupid beyond all measure, dangerously catchy (seriously, you’re going to have this stuck in your head all damn day) but it’s also more than a bit disturbing — there are some sexually suggestive things going on with the fast food and big blue dog in this video that I do not feel at all comfortable with. See the best reason ever to be glad America went its own way, after the jump (and happy Independence Day).