
Audio By Carbonatix
The principal at Lafayette’s Angevine Middle School has reportedly asked parents to urge their kids not to wear colored jelly bracelets to class — and those who do will be asked to remove them. The reason: The colors are said to denote assorted sex acts, and if they break, the wearer is supposed to perform them on the lucky snapper. But what means what? The Urban Dictionary passes along plenty of contradictory information on its jelly bracelet pages. One list says a gray or silver jelly stands for “a hand job,” another insists that it’s “fisting,” and a third argues that it’s “outdoor sex.” Likewise, there’s disagreement about whether pink calls for a French kiss, cunninlingus or my personal favorite, “flash tits or pinus.” I’m not sure if I have the latter; I plan to consult a medical text.
The list below falls short of definitive, but it’s one of the longest, which has got to count for something. Warning to my wife: I’m in a clear blue mood tonight.
Black — sexual intercourse
Blue — blow job (alternate meaning: lap dance)
Green — cunnilingus (alternate meaning: outdoor sex, hug)
Clear — whatever you want (alternate meaning: hug)
Orange — kiss
Yellow — hug
Red — lap dance
Purple — anal sex
Silver — fisting
White — flash your tits
Pink — flashing
Gold glitter — make out
Brown — toss my salad, i.e., analingus
Glow in the dark — using sex toys
glittery yellow — hugging & kissing
glittery green — 69
glittery purple — French
glittery orange — kiss
Indigo — Hand-job with blowjob
Clear Gold with glitter — fingering
Clear blue — All of everything
Clear Pink — Its the girls choice
Clear Green — All Anal
Glow in the dark pink — female sex toys
Glow in the dark blue — boy sex toys
Glow in the dark green — Sex with porn
light blue — masturbate
gold — suck on any part of body
gray (silver) — flash