Audio By Carbonatix
While Tim Tebow’s Miami miracle resulted in an 18-15 Broncos victory, he paid by being sacked a league high seven times. This achievement earned him respect for his toughness, but also something more — a week’s supply of NuVo condoms to improve his “protection.” Although if The Chosen One is a man of his word — and of course he is! — he’s the least likely baller in America to need them. The NuVo Protection Plan has been in place since the NFL season began, with the company sending condoms to the quarterback who suffered the most sacks over the weekend — so they can “stay safe and won’t be left unprotected!” according to a company press release that excitedly refers to Tebow as “fresh meat.”
The release goes on to concede that it’s “questionable if Tebow will accept this gift with open arms after seeing his highly controversial Super Bowl advertisement last year” — an anti-abortion-themed spot sponsored by Focus on the Family. And that’s not to mention Tebow’s public statement, issued back in 2009, that he’s saving himself for marriage. Here’s that clip.
Even so, NuVo argues that everyone needs extra protection on occasion — “yes, even Tebow!” And if he keeps getting sacked at the rate he experienced against the Dolphins, he could wind up with a lifetime supply.
When news happens, Westword is there —
Your support strengthens our coverage.
We’re aiming to raise $50,000 by December 31, so we can continue covering what matters most to this community. If Westword matters to you, please take action and contribute today, so when news happens, our reporters can be there.
Click here to follow and like the Michael Roberts/Westword Facebook page.
More from our Sports archive: “10 best tweets about Tim Tebow following the Broncos win over Miami.”
