Euclid Hall vs. the Sowbionese Liberation Army: the swine showdown

The Sowbionese Liberation Army — they who stomped off with Euclid Hall’s pig mascot last weekend and are now holding it for ransom — are ready for tomorrow’s showdown at Euclid Hall, at which we expect to see, among other theatrics, Euclid Hall executive chef Jorel Pierce sashaying through the restaurant in a tutu, just one of many demands issued by the thugs who pilfered the restaurant’s pig.

Originally, the duel between the Euclidians and the Sowbionese Liberation Army was set for 5 p.m. tomorrow at Euclid Hall, but the time was changed after a member of “Kids in the Hall” — the crew from Euclid — suggested that 5 p.m was inconvenient. The Sowbionese Liberation Army acquiesced and proffered a 3 p.m. time instead — which the Euclidians accepted. But the Sowbionese Liberation Army is clearly obsessed with the number five, because in addition to insisting on five orders of bone marrow, five drams of fine whiskey and five pints of Euclid’s finest British Imperial Ale, the misfits have now demanded that the initial time of 5 p.m. be reinstated:

Kids in the Hall,

The final demand is 5PM sharp @ Euclid Hall thus Sunday. And just to reiterate, here are our other demands:

5 orders bone marrow 5 drams of fine whiskey 5 pints of your finest British Imperial Ale Rubber duckie Tutu Pigtails

No Monkey Business!!!!

Until Sunday,

The SLA

Furthermore, warns the ringleader of the Sowbionese Liberation Army, if the demands set forth above are not honored, Euclid Hall’s pig will journey to Aspen with Fruition executive chef/owner Alex Seidel, who will hack the hell out of it during the Cochon555 Grand Finale during the Food & Wine Classic in Aspen, where Seidel, who recently won the Cochon555 “Prince of Porc” title in Denver, is competing for the “King of Porc” crown.

By the way, the public is welcome to show up at Euclid Hall tomorrow at 5 p.m. to witness how this all goes down.

Let the squeal brawl begin.

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