Doug Lamborn’s Tar Baby race paste sticks longer: Kenny Be’s back-to-school supplies

Representative Doug Lamborn capitalizes on a remarkable skill for creating sticky situations by introducing his new Tar Baby race paste. Developed by crafty congressmen for budget-burdened back-to-school students, Lamborn’s Tar Baby race paste sticks faster, and longer, than the leading white power adhesives… As illustrated above, Lamborn’s Tar Baby race paste goes on sticky and stays stuck. The toxic, non-safe formula was created by a pasty politician, and it won’t wash off.

To open/close: Twist cap to right to open. Always close cap tightly and store uptight. Application: Use on divided surfaces. For rhetoric, spread thinly, press, act surprised. For foot in mouth, spread heavily on foot and lips, clamp, wait forever. Clean up: Never.

More from our Kenny Be/Comics archive: “Google Maps catches Denverites ignoring doggy doody duty: Kenny Be’s Search Images.”