Calling all (really) experienced waitresses

If you’ve got three decades of serving experience under your belt, there just might be a position for you at a new greasy spoon opening its doors this month in Aurora, and currently advertising on Craigslist. And I stress might, since Howard — the gentleman doing the hiring – also wants to check your references. Thirty years of slingin’ hash and turnin’ tables apparently does not automatically qualify you for a spot at this “unique” liquor-license suburban diner, whose name and concept Howard is not yet willing to divulge, although the ad does tag it a “nice place.”

Is Howard aware of how narrow his search is? Perhaps that’s his intention. Or maybe, in a fit of pre-screening, crunch-time frustration, he’s just blindly warped the traditional weeding-out process into farcical hyperbole; after all, he notes that candidates must be “very very service orientated.”

We can’t know for sure; when we reached Howard, he told us to call back in fifteen minutes — and when we did, we just reached voicemail. But I am sure that there aren’t too many waitresses in Colorado with a “minimum” of 25-35 years experience actively seeking work. Dollars to donuts they’re happy right where they are. In fact, they probably own the place.