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Denver’s DogaPOOLooza takes place Sunday, marking the closing of the city’s sixteen outdoor pools for the summer. For $5 a pup, Denver’s dogs can take a ninety-minute dip in two of them, at Berkeley Park and Cook Park. This will be the third DogaPOOLooza to date, and Denver Parks and Rec spokeswoman Jill McGranahan says the canine pool party — max: 100 dogs in the pool at a time — sells out each year. But here’s a list of five (fake) POOLooza events that might not be as successful.
5. CataPOOLooza. I can haz pool party? No thanx u.
4. NakedOldManaPOOLooza Imagine it without the swimsuits.
3. SnakeaPOOLooza “I have had it with these motherf*cking snakes in this motherf*cking pool!”
2. EColiPOOLooza Brought to you by Pampers Splashers swim diapers.
1. PiranhaPOOLooza It’ll be a bloody good time!