A Colorado Girl’s Response to the 10 Reasons Colorado Girls Are WAY Better Than California Girls

Thought Catalog just posted a list detailing the top ten reasons why Colorado girls are “way” better than California girls. While blogger Allyson Callahan ended her nearly 2,000-word piece on a satirical note, she only did so after first perpetuating every possible myth about Colorado and the women who live here. Here is our response: The true top ten reasons why Colorado girls are better than California girls, written by a real Colorado girl.

1. She’s Naturally Beautiful

The Thought Catalog article started off strong in its argument for Colorado girls over California girls (an unnecessary competition in the first place), saying that Colorado women have “real smiles, real hair and real bodies.” But that argument derailed when the author made mention that women strive for beauty in order to “make any man fall in love,” and that Colorado's  mountain women are doing so in their flannel shirts.

Colorado women define beauty by their own standards, whether that’s in climbing shoes and and helmet or leggings and boots.

2. She’s Not Just Fun, She’s a Blast

Yes, marijuana is legal in Colorado and lots of people — both men and women — are celebrating this victory with bowls and bongs. But while marijuana culture is definitely prevalent throughout the state, smoking pot is not something every woman (let alone every person) is doing all day, every day. Colorado has been stigmatized for being all about the weed, but according to the Colorado Department of Revenue’s most recent Market Size and Demand for Marijuana in Colorado study, only 9 percent of residents are regular pot users, smoking at least once a month.

3. She’s Really Outdoorsy

Other than marijuana, Colorado is best known for its incredible outdoor opportunities. With all the mountains in Colorado, it’s easy to assume that everybody is “really” outdoorsy. But sometimes the answer to the standard tourist question, “So, do you ski and snowboard every weekend?,” is actually "no." Not everyone in Colorado buys a ski pass and regularly takes on a fourteener or a slackline in the park.

4. She’s Not That Open-Minded, Because She Doesn't Want Her Brains to Fall Out

This is by far the most confusing and stereotypical item on the Thought Catalog list. The author first praises Colorado women for knowing what they want in an “extremely-eclectic” place, and then goes on to say that “Boulder is the city of hippies and weed lovers, Pueblo is full of Mexicans, Denver is half for the partiers and half for the serious business folk, and Colorado Springs is the perfect mix of it all.”

Colorado women are open-minded without stereotyping and pigeonholing others. This state is filled with diverse people from every end of the spectrum — and Colorado women celebrate that.

5. She’s Friendly and Keeps Her Friends

Yes, Colorado girls are “famous” for enjoying craft beer and a good hike with a great attitude. But every woman has her moments when the claws come out and the side glance is on. It doesn’t matter what state you live in, we’re all still in high school. Sometimes the famous, friendly Colorado girl would rather be moody on the couch with a Coors Light in hand than hang out at Great Divide with her crew.

6. She’s Original

Nobody is disputing that Colorado girls are often free spirits. Not every woman in this state, however, is creating her own hemp dresses and avoiding name-brand clothing. Colorado women are known to enjoy a shopping spree from time to time, even if the Pearl Street Mall is no Rodeo Drive.

7. She’s Part of the Fittest State in the Nation

For starters, Montana officially surpassed Colorado as the least-obese state in the nation. This Thought Catalog article argues that it’s “basically impossible” to be unhealthy in Colorado, but Michael Roberts compiled a list of our state’s most obese counties just this week. 

Colorado’s women come in all shapes and sizes; not every woman has her yoga mat and a handful of almonds tucked away in her REI bag. 
8. She’s Not a Dumb Blonde or a Party “Junky”

While misspelling "junkie," the Thought Catalog piece positions Colorado women as experts in the kitchen, the woods and in the classroom. This point was apparently meant to congratulate the women of Colorado for being people of substance, but instead it stereotypes both Colorado and California women. Yes, Colorado women are more than parties and booty shorts, but they are also more than camping trips and home-cooked meals. Just like women everywhere, Colorado girls know how to have a good time, too. 

9. She’s Got Class and Culture

Of all the author’s points, this argument holds the most weight while also contradicting earlier items on the list. The article explains that women in Colorado are accustomed to interacting with people from all walks of life on a daily basis, so they treat all people with respect. And that's absolutely correct.
10. She Still Lives in Colorado, Not California

The purpose of the Thought Catalog article was allegedly to showcase how much better Colorado women are than those in California, and this final point was intended to showcase all the reasons women choose to stay in the Centennial State.  But whether satirical or not, in celebrating Colorado women the article also bolsters stereotyping and encourages women to pick each other apart based not only on the state in which they reside, but also their interests, race and physical appearance. 

It doesn’t matter what state you live in — women should stand united. We have enough to battles to fight without starting ones with each other.

To read the full Thought Catalog article, click here

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Lauren Archuletta is a contributor for Westword's arts section, covering Denver's health and wellness scene. Follow her work for tips on cheap workouts and which yoga classes include mimosas and beer.