@applebees tweets about riblets, cheating and your weekend plans

We're not sure what it is about Applebee's Twitter account, but something screams "ass-kisser." The restaurant chain's tweets read like that student council kid in high school who tries to be buddy-buddy with everyone, asking mindless questions like "How was your summer vacation?" and "How do you feel about making pep rallies mandatory?" Except Applebee's asks followers what meal is a favorite of the day or what hobbies customers might have, as if this corporate entity cares.

And it doesn't help that one of the account's moderators ends each tweet with "EW" -- which must be that person's initials, but sound more like an exclamation about food, probably not the kind of exclamation Applebee's is looking for. This poor EW is also permanently doing damage control from pissed-off customers.

At any rate, when we found the Twitter account for the eating establishment that made a fictitious part of an animal known as the "riblet" famous, we had to follow it.

And speaking of fictitious animals, we were particularly amused by this tweet exchange between Applebee's and vegan consumer navigator @Vegansumer. It isn't that @Vegansumer doesn't have a valid point regarding the restaurant's lack of veggie-only friendly options and a disregard for a promise made. It's that, well, it's Applebee's. Expecting a place that serves fake animal parts made out of some kind of real meat to be vegan is insane. That's like asking "turkey legs" at the state fair to be made out of a naturally birthed turkey's leg. It will never happen. Wait. What? Eating boneless buffalo wings is "cheating" because why? Because the chicken is mechanically separated before it makes it to the fryer? Cheating is suddenly redefined. We have to give it to Applebee's: This tweet was thought-provoking. Suddenly, our attention was diverted away from the TV blaring an episode of Jerseylicious, and we started thinking about filling in the blank. This weekend I'm going to ride a horse off of a cliff. This weekend I'm going to watch the entire DVD boxed set of Friends alone. This weekend I'm going to give myself a home perm.

Oh, wait. Maybe Applebee's wanted us to say that this weekend we were going to come into an Applebee's to wine and dine. Sorry, there's a Chili's nearby for that. EW.

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Bree Davies is a multimedia journalist, artist advocate and community organizer born and raised in Denver. Rooted in the world of Do-It-Yourself arts and music, Davies co-founded Titwrench experimental music festival, is host of the local music and comedy show Sounds on 29th on CPT12 Colorado Public Television and is creator and host of the civic and social issue-focused podcast, Hello? Denver? Are You Still There? Her work is centered on a passionate advocacy for all ages, accessible, inclusive, non-commercial and autonomous DIY art spaces and music venues in Denver.
Contact: Bree Davies