Valentine’s Day hits tomorrow. If you’re single in the Mile High City and looking to couple up this weekend, you probably spent the past few days buffing up your online dating profile. When you decide to troll TInder this weekend, here’s what you’re bound to find in Denver.
5. The Ballpark Bro
You’ve undoubtedly seen the group above in any number of Westword slideshows, the bros holding Coors Lights in their hand while dangling off the patio at ViewHouse. Swipe right if you’re looking to do Jell-O shots and talk about DeadMau5.
4. The Die-Hard Colorado Enthusiast
This category includes men and women alike. On Tinder, the Colorado enthusiasts will always have at least one photo that shows them on the top of a rocky surface, usually with a dog, to prove that the outdoors is important to them. Their bios will speak to the magnificence of the state and how much they enjoy skiing, snowboarding, rafting, running and hiking across it.
3. The Yogi/Yogini
Not to be confused with a gym rat, the yogi (or yogini, for the ladies) will entice you to swipe right with their yoga poses. Their profile will include #zen and probably a photo of them at Yoga on the Rocks. If you can’t easily get into crow pose, it’s probably best to swipe left. The yogi/yogini will spot a poser a mile away.
2. The Cannabis Cutie
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There’s something oddly comforting about reading Bob Marley lyrics in a Tinder bio. #420friendly guys or girls express their interests in their photos, often with smoke being blown artfully toward the camera or other paraphernalia in the background.
1. The Person “Just Looking to Meet People”
At first glance, this person looks great on the screen of your iPhone. Maybe your interests on Facebook link up, and you read that they’re really into DeVotchKa and First Fridays. But by the time you get to the bottom of their bio and you start to virtually swoon, you’ll notice a line about how they’re just looking to meet people. This, Denverites, is code for “I’m actually in a somewhat real relationship but I haven’t totally admitted it yet, so I’m still looking to hook up until I officially commit.” Unless you’re down for a casual encounter — after which you’ll be immediately unmatched on Tinder — swipe left and get back to single life.