As is befitting of a the world's biggest bar trivia night, there's been a flurry of questions surrounding the circumstances of Geek Bowl 2011, that hallowed tradition where prestigious geeks from all around the country will gather to do battle tomorrow evening to the end of proving their superior worthless knowledge. Specifically: Are competitor tickets sold out, like Westword told us they were this week? In fact, that was a miscommunication -- the tickets are not sold out. Bad news for us, since we look like a pack of boobs over here, but good news for you: It means there's still time, you lazy, procrastinating bum, to get in on the action.
And if the pre-game shit talking that's been going on is any indication, it's going to be some action. As we've been reporting for some time now, it started with Adam Cayton-Holland, master of ceremonies (and former Westword scribe), making a series of dis videos directed at Austin, Philadelphia and Salt Lake City, cities that will be ineffectually competing with Denver at tomorrow's throw-down. Then, Philadelphia's Johnny Goodtimes responded with a dis rap so hackneyed he makes Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch look threatening.
Now, both Austin and Colorado Springs have responded to Johnny Goodtimes with dis raps of their own. Apparently, the degree of suck in dis rap videos exponentially increases with amount of distance from Denver, as evidenced by Austin's dis, which reminds of back in the mid-'80s when government PR agencies figured out rap was cool and then made PSAs where they forced child actors whose reputations would never recover to rhyme about the nutritional benefits of corn dogs. Also, there is inexplicably a transvestite involved:
Colorado Springs, on the other hand, our rivals in the competition but nevertheless our geographical brethren, fare substantially better, appropriating a sample from Bruce Springsteen's "Streets of Philadelphia" for their rhymez, which is pretty clever. Plus, anything with the Boss in it is good in our book.
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Denver brought it. Colorado Springs brought it. Philly brought it (badly). Austin brought it (even worse).
Will you bring it? DO YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES, PUSSY? If so, then for God's sake, get your team rounded up right now and buy your tickets before they run out -- competitor tickets run $25 apiece and are only sold in blocks of six. If you're happier with just observing the fray from the sidelines, you can also get spectator tickets for $12. The quizzing starts tomorrow night at 7 p.m. sharp (doors at 6) at the Fillmore Auditorium.
Godspeed, little geek. Do your Denver proud.