Medium Rebecca Rosen helped me connect to my dead relatives and find my spirit guides

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In the hours before my coveted appointment with Rebecca Rosen, a local medium and author with a years-long waiting list, I was in full-fledged panic-turned-tantrum mode. Though I had gleefully picked up the chance to get a once-in-a-lifetime reading with Rosen weeks earlier, that excitement had worn off by the time the date approached. Frankly, I didn't want to mess with my dead relatives; it seemed inappropriate. I talk to them all the time on my own through prayer and meditation and late-night freakouts, but I had never really thought about them talking back: It was a one-way street, and I was fine with that. (We control freaks see life this way.)

See also: Rebecca Rosen on fulfilling your divine purpose and looking to the dead for guidance

And then, just as quickly as I was led into my reading with Rosen -- who jumped right in with startling identifiers of my loved ones passed on -- I was done. I walked out of her cushy office in Cherry Creek a little snotty from embarrassing public tears and very enlightened. But I also left with a recorded copy of my reading, one that I didn't want even my boyfriend to hear -- partially because I was afraid I sounded dumb, but also because I didn't want any skepticism thrown my way.

I liked what Rebecca shared with me -- but did that make it true? I still don't know.

Prior to the reading, I was instructed to write down the names of people important to me who were both living and dead, and key dates related to them and my life. I did this halfway -- I wrote out a list of people but not dates; I'm not the best at remembering dates and I don't really like to commemorate losses that way. This exercise had me skeptical right off the bat -- of course Rosen could connect things to other things if I gave her all of this valuable information. But she didn't ask me for any of it, she just began sharing information as it came to her.

I realized later that the exercise was probably meant to stir my mind and get me thinking about the people and stories that might come up. It worked. The first person to "come through" was my uncle -- a loss I am still very much dealing with. (I was dreading writing about this, because I feel instant exhaustion when I write about things that people will automatically disagree with. If you've ever written about feminism, then you know this tiredness firsthand. I can already feel this experience being written off -- but fuck it.)

My uncle identified himself through a series of characteristics Rosen relayed to me that couldn't have been anyone but him. Diabetic? Check. Father figure who was not my actual father? Check. Wearing outrageous shoes he insisted on telling Rosen he wanted to show me? Check. Talking more than any other spirit, almost to the point of drowning out the other passed relatives' communication? Check. A very Catholic man who, not long before his passing, began to seek the aid of spiritual alternatives? Check.

My uncle was eating all the candy he wanted now that he'd passed over, and he was proud of me for what I had accomplished in my life, according to Rosen. I was in tears.

Other relatives began to appear, too, though they were much less identifiable by what she was sharing. My grandfather, my great-grandmother and my brother who had passed away were all apparently around me. Even my boyfriend's grandma who had passed and meant a lot to him came through to say hi. I was perplexed by all of this information, but I did leave feeling better than when I came in, and that was kind of the point, I think.

Late one night after the reading, I found my boyfriend listening to the CD that Rebecca had given me with our thirty-minute session on it. I flipped out and made him turn it off. I hadn't listened to it since the reading and hadn't really planned to -- but then I sat down to write this and I figured it was time to revisit it. Though only a little over a week had passed since my family came to me through Rebecca, I had forgotten everything.

Listening to it again definitely made me more skeptical, though not any less satisfied with the information I was shown through the reading. I'd exaggerated some facets of my session with Rebecca when I'd relayed them to my family members immediately following the reading -- but, hey, I'm a writer. That's what I do on a regular basis. Now I wanted to hear again from my uncle, even though I also didn't want to hear anything at all. But some of it was meant for me to hear.

Regardless of what I took away from my reading with Rebecca Rosen, she was kind and fascinating. I know a lot of people who do work in the realms of spirituality and self-healing, and I don't really find it necessary or even my place to decide who is the "real" or the "fake." I find it more ignorant to believe that we breathing humans are the only ones taking up space in the world we experience every day.

What do all my friends who are obsessed with The X-Filessay? Oh, that's right: The truth is out there.

Rebecca Rosen is a spiritual guide, best-selling author and speaker based out of Denver. To find out more about what she does, visit the medium's website.

Be my voyeur (or better yet, let me stalk you) on Twitter: @cocodavies

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