You've got to hand it to Mexicans: Those folks know how to get down. Besides Cinco de Mayo last weekend -- probably the greatest party of the year -- they also invented the piñata, which, with its injury-prone combination of dizziness, blindfolds, probable drunkenness and a wildly swinging blunt object, is the single-most potentially lulzy party favor of all time. Plus, after the blood and tears are cleaned up, there's candy. Or maybe before.
There are a couple of important life-lessons we can take from this scenario: One: do not, under any circumstances, take it upon yourself to hold the piñata that somebody is erratically swinging a bat at, even if you are just trying to be helpful -- your helpfulness will not be rewarded in kind. Two: in the case that somebody is injured during the cracking of the piñata, ignore that stupid person and go for the candy. If you don't, surely somebody else will hoard it all to themselves.
The moral of this story? Don't try to help people. It will not get you any candy, and it may get you hit in the face with a bat.
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