We were happy to see him go back to his garage and all his cars, to make way for Fallon, for his dancing to hip-hop.
Jay Leno must be lonely. What has Jay Leno been doing the last couple weeks?
- Really getting some drinking done.
- Finally meeting his housekeeper of 23 years.
- Asking her if she knows the Vice President's name.
- Asking her if she watched the State of the Union speech.
- Asking her to introduce him announcer-style before he walks into the kitchen.
- Sitting in his 1937 Bugatti Type 57 SC Atlantic in his garage, fiddling with the radio.
- Sitting in his 1917 Fiat Botafogo Special, fiddling with the starter pull knob.
- Sitting in his 1915 Hispano-Suiza, fiddling with the cross-pipe exhaust yank.
- Pitching a show about comedians in cars getting coffeecakes.
- Pitching a show about Larry David's life starring Jay Leno.
- Pitching a show called [snaps fingers] Louie!
- Stacking VHS tapes.
- Trying to find the right extension cord to plug his film projector into his computer.
- Working on a video parody of Phil Collins' "In the Air Tonight" with Richard Dreyfus.
- Sitting in his 1927 Duesenberg Model X, fiddling with the drop-hang passenger mirror.
- Sitting in his 1909 Baker Electric, fiddling with the flush-mount electra-coil.
- Trying to get his edge back by buying rolling papers at a 7-Eleven in El Segundo.
- Standing out front of Letterman's house with a plate of brownies for six hours.
- Standing out front of Conan O'Brien's house with two beers for three days.
- Wondering why the hell he bought all these fucking cars.
- Counting his cars - hundreds of fucking cars!
- Asking the Comedy Store if he can bring his applause sign for a surprise set next Tuesday.
- Counting his motorcycles -- 80 fucking motorcycles!
- Asking his agent if there's any show or pilot or anything out there right now that would be perfect for him to -- what do you call it -- steal.
- Asking Jimmy Fallon if he's seen Kevin Eubanks or Ricky Minor or any of those guys around.
- Starting a podcast by buying iPod or something -- he's doesn't know what he's doing.
- Drinking his wife's orange juice when she leaves the table to get a bagel.
- Eating her bagel when she leaves to get another orange juice.
- Drinking her orange juice when she leaves to get another bagel.
- Eating her bagel when she leaves to get another orange juice.
- And finally eating her bacon!
- Sitting in his 1931 Bentley 8-Liter, fiddling with the steam horn.
- Sitting in his 1906 Stanley Steamer Vanderbilt Cup Racer, fiddling with the double boiler.
- Looking through his old scrapbook of friends and comedians who trashed him publicly.
- Cutting up Variety to make funny headlines about him returning to The Tonight Show.
- Floating the idea of returning to The Tonight Show to Allison from the Coffee Bean.
- Just shooting the shit about returning to host The Tonight Show with his car buddies in his garage and the president of NBC in his office.
- Juicing.
- Sitting in his 1968 Lamborghini R485 Tractor -- a fucking tractor!
