I have an embarrassing tendency to bait people into conversations where I just talk about cool things I am doing. Surprise, right? While it likely stems from being bored with hearing of the mundane achievements of others (babies, crappy jobs, cars), there is a part of me that figures it…

Mixing business with pleasure is a dirty game, isn’t it? While necessary, practice spaces exemplify the tension that comes with sharing a small area with a number of personal friends and acquaintances. It’s like living in a tiny house with eight other unbalanced roommates. Between paying rent, keeping the space…

Un-freakin’-stoppable.Roosevelt and Churchill. Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. Marvel and Capcom. Ghostbusters and Hi-C. Throughout history, there have been some truly incredible collaborations that have forever altered the course of humanity. But what about the memorable music combos when two brilliant music artists collide, shooting through the galaxies of both…

There’s a lot of bad music out there. There are always people debating genres like contemporary country and Western and Top 40 music, but at the end of the day, the most reviled and defenseless genre of all is nu-metal. Too whiny to be intimidating and too dumb to be…

The wedding invitations are coming in fast now, and although we typically don’t enjoy sitting in a church and staring at comb-overs, there are two things provided at weddings we can all agree on: food and alcohol. I can live like the lord of the event center, alternating between sips…

For some dumb reason, everyone wants to be in a rock band. Probably because it’s a good way to avoid gazing into the inescapable black hole of painful loneliness. That and rock & roll kicks ass, and gets you chicks or dudes or money or something. The problem with rock…

The world continues to burn, propelling artists such as Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus and La Bouche to the top of the charts. Meanwhile, some of the most brilliant artists sit silently in obscurity. Sometimes people discover them years later and bring them to light through covers, or a hip-hop artist…

Imagine you’re on a date and you’re telling a story. It’s a long one, but you know it’s a winner. Everyone always loves this story. Three quarters of the way to the punch line, you notice a shift in your date’s behavior. She’s glancing at the door, bouncing her leg…

In 2014, you should’ve already figured it out by now: Your dumpy, forgettable band with few fans should be touring. The need to turn your local bar band into a mobile poverty-stricken disaster unit is of utmost importance. It’s your chance to see beautiful rolling landscapes, fall in love with…

What’ll it be this evening: pouring manure on your hated gym teacher’s front door step and then urinating on it? Getting trashed and picking a fight with the bully who became the bouncer at whatever bar that Denny’s restaurant turned into? Or maybe you could do something really wild, like…

It has happened to me a million times. I walk into a bar with the intention of sitting down for a relaxing beverage, and in between the time that I’ve paid and my first sip of beer, I realize that some 22-year-old is having a birthday party. And that all…

A factor in the decline of decent art was recently dragged onto center stage by the New York Times in an article called “Brooklyn Communal Cool: The Brand.” The piece, authored by a person who spells “mic” like “mike,” focuses on a communal-living quarters in Brooklyn called the Clubhouse and…

Most people regard metal music as an anti-intellectual, chest-beating, noisy fit for cavemen. Despite this being 100 percent true, there are a few positive things that result from having an intense dedication toward one of the most juvenile forms of music out there. While listening to metal may still sentence…

All illustrations by Dave Watt Being in a band is hard. Assembling a band is almost impossible. As anyone who’s been through a few bands can tell you, meeting a self-proclaimed “musician” should instill about as much enthusiasm in you as meeting someone who is going to college for a…