1. With the off-season departure of broadcaster Wayne Hagin, the Colorado Rockies lost the only man: A. Who could sing “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” in Latin. B. Credited with successfully suggesting both a mascot (Dino) and a mascot name (“Dinger”) in Major League Baseball. C. Known to have…

1. Denver mayoral front-walker Ari Zavaras can cite this achievement in collage, er, college: A. He was named “Brother Beer Bong” of his Greek fraternity. B. He spent a year as the Wise Owl mascot. C. As chairman of the school’s safety brigade, he was named a “Junior G-Man” by…

1. All but one of the following is true of Jason “Jake” Plummer: A. Even with his millions, he claims to still shop at Old Navy. B. Despite his gallant eighty-yard drive, his high school team lost the Idaho state championship by one measly point. C. His brothers used to…

1. Welcome to Wayne’s world! Senator Wayne Allard made The Onion last week in a parody bemoaning the lot of sophomore senators stuck in congressional dorms. What touch was accurate in this Onion photo? A. The bottle of Deep Rock water: Allard is known to chug at least 64 ounces…

1. We’re da bomb! Some of the nation’s top guns now call the federal maximum-security prison in Florence home. Who is not part of Colorado’s pinstripe set? A. Prose-happy Unabomber Ted Kaczynski. B. Ramzi Yousef, one of the 1993 World Trade Center bombing-conspiracy convicts. C. Richard Reid, the shoe-bomb terrorist…

1. Holy Homeland Insecurity! Coloradans have been stocking up on duct tape even though: A. Their actions have caused critical shortages in certain key industries such as muffler-repair and snowboard shops. B. The sticky line of defense against bioterror is permeable. C. According to reliable statistics, one in ten people…

As state legislators grapple with the meteor-sized budget hole that’s swallowing so many programs, their eyes have fallen on the Colorado Film Commission — the first such state agency in the country when it opened in 1969 — and its $320,000 annual tab. Under one measure now being considered by…

1. Which sign was not on display during the Rolling Stones’ stop at the Pepsi Center last Saturday? A. “Lick me, Mick.” B. “Watts up?” C. “Best fuckin’ band in the 20th and 21st centuries.” D. “Ronnie B. Good.” 2. What did not shower down on eager Stones fans during…

Loved that San Diego Super Bowl. Loved it! When Elway faded back and found…oh, wait a minute. That seems like a decade ago. Guess we haven’t been paying close attention to Denver sports lately (and with good reason). But for those who have: 1. Prior to the game, Bill “Juicy…

So, there was the Quizmeister, admitting that he’d just taken the kids’ Colorado quiz on Tom Tancredo’s Congressional Web site — and scored a solid 80 percent. (Hey, who knew the state flag had red in it? We thought no Reds were allowed here.) But the third-term congressman from Colorado’s…

In keeping with Pop Quiz’s noble mission to remind citizens of useless facts they might otherwise forget, this week’s incarnation — the Pop(ular Vote) Quiz — was culled from still-Mayor Wellington Webb’s briefing last week for the current crop of mayoral hopefuls. Nine wannabes, each eager to learn the secrets…

1. For $2.50, Denver’s Catholic faithful can now: A. Give a street urchin a coupon that’s redeemable for a free meal at a participating McDonald’s. B. Order a pin that says “Chaput for Cardinal.” C. Buy a 2.5-ounce bottle of Lourdes holy water that’s been shipped from the French shrine…

A big brown cloud was 2002, A stinky year for all but a few. Yet things look no better for 2003, Making us wish to cower or flee. Before you learn how bad it is, Resolve to take this cheering quiz. 1. The Denver Public Library, in its quest to…

Hundred-year fires, 200-year droughts, the worst economy in a decade and the collapse of all of Colorado’s pro-sports franchises (as well as the semi-pro Nuggets): This past year was an all-consuming pain, a bonfire of the vanities, an Elvis-sized inferno that belongs on the ash heap of memory. But before…

Terry Lynn Barton “I did it,” Terry Lynn Barton told one investigator. “It was a stupid thing.” And with those words, the 38-year-old U.S. Forest Service employee became one of the few people in the public eye to honestly appraise — if only for a flash — their fuelish actions…

In a year of record lows, Denver could report a new high point — several, in fact, since the Mile High City had grown three feet taller in some places, according to the National Geodetic Survey. Those findings, made in the 1990s but just now showing up on maps, indicate…

Maria Mosina is fluent in Russian, which isn’t surprising, since she was born in Moscow and is a graduate of the Bolshoi Ballet Academy. But the ballerina, now in her eighth season with the Colorado Ballet, did need a little help with the relentless Pop Quiz questioning (typically conducted in…

While big shots come in many sizes and shapes, few best (or baste) the United Way’s official Turkey Trot turkey. Believed to be some sort of genetic hybrid, this strange bird stands six feet tall and easily weighs 200 pounds, give or take a few yams. “I’m definitely a Butterball,”…

Chiefs, an 87-minute documentary chronicling the struggles and triumphs of high school basketball players on Wyoming’s Wind River Indian Reservation, is getting its first extended theatrical release. The site of the screening — the Starz FilmCenter — is on land that was once prime hunting ground for the Northern Arapahoe…

The good news about the sale of Good Shepherd Catholic Elementary School is that the deal doesn’t have to wait on a decision from Rome, a cumbersome process that could delay any closing by months. And while the transaction still requires final approval from Denver archdiocesan councils, Good Shepherd’s pastor,…