If you’re not careful, a telephone can ruin your romance. That’s the message of Gian Carlo Menotti’s 25-minute-long The Telephone. Although the opera was written in the late ’40s, baritone Chris McKim, who’s analyzed his part, considers it oddly up to date. “This is one of my favorite lines: This…

It’s a dinner party waiting to happen, but where is the dinner? The silver urn centerpiece sprouts black ostrich feathers instead of flowers. The high-rent china is stacked five pieces deep, and in each soup bowl some wise-ass butler has placed a man’s necktie, neatly folded, rather than soup. The…

“I’m not here for me,” the man in the waiting room says. “I’m here with my friend. He needs a job. He’s talking to someone about a job in one of those offices. Maybe I should be in there,” he says nervously, twisting a little in his chair. Recently laid…

“I don’t see her,” says the security guard standing across the street from the Black Hawk Casino by Hyatt. “Where is this goddess supposed to be? In the light-colored rock? Wait — maybe I can see her, a little. Looks like someone laying down with a big stomach and her…

Here’s what’s left of Pizza Time takeout: a small, greasy room full of men, their backs facing the door, almost all of them representing a former competitor. In less than 24 hours, every piece of kitchen equipment — including the pizza ovens and the giant exhaust fan — will be…

Pockets of open land sometimes appear just over the Adams County line. Bordered on the north by I-76, with a dense clump of Westminster off in the distance, this section of north Denver is a barren stretch of used-car dealers, scrapyards and cornfields. Some of its occupants look set in…

Two modest houses are for sale on University Boulevard between Third and Fourth avenues — an area so rife with upscaling that these rundown dwellings may be the last of an endangered species. Driving south toward Cherry Creek — on your way, say, to Saks or Whole Foods — you…

The towers are not quite twin: The south building, with 29 stories, has one more floor than the building to the north. They look like office buildings in any big-league city: black-glass monoliths with a plaza between them; a mini-bank, E-trade station and convenience store within reach; orderly rows of…

At Denver Water’s annual employee car show, God is in the detailing. “She’s a garage queen,” says Jerry Trujillo of his 1931 Ford Roadster. Trujillo’s a paving coordinator at the water department, and his off hours are few. Nevertheless, through years of effort and heavy reliance on the kindness of…

If you’re going to suffer through an undergraduate business degree, work a demeaning restaurant job in order to pay tuition, sell out for the sake of money — well, you might want to apply the life lessons of Jason Holben — line cook, Hawaiian-shirt enthusiast, master of discretion, entrepreneur. “I…

Delores describes herself as “stinkingly healthy,” but health is relative at this Commerce City truck-stop clinic, where she is undergoing a mandatory Department of Transportation physical. This is not the territory of low-risk cholesterol, weight or heart rate. “Oh, our health problems are all the same,” Delores says. “High blood…

After more than fifty years, my father is going through his letters. This daunting task involves unloading a green Army duffel bag full of papers, and probably mice, as well as decoding ancient computer data dating back to a time when floppy discs actually flopped. He’s been wanting to do…

At this 7 a.m. meeting of the Cherry Creek Toastmasters, Topicmaster Susan Grattino throws out questions loosely related to Mother’s Day. In return, she expects an extemporaneous speech, no longer or shorter than 45 seconds. “There was an old woman who lived in a shoe,” she says. “How is that…

“Have you ever heard of Enya?” my dentist asks. “Hate her,” I say. “Yeah, but several patients suggested her.” To prove his point, he produces a sticky note with ENYA written on it. This is all part of Larry Gabler’s highly democratic background-music selection process. Seven years ago, having abandoned…

There was never any need for a formal research study. Instead, Kevin Larson hung around the store — near the dressing room, where he could tell a woman to try the camisole in white, rather than off-white, in order to bring out her natural attributes. Or in his office beneath…

September 16, 2001, Indian Hills Here, we are far from trouble. No one would have said so during the wildfires last summer, but that was before what happened last week in the East. Now we know very well how safe we are. All of the rural foothills fire departments have…

In mid-June, Farrell “Mack” McMahon of Garden City, Missouri, woke up, smoked the first of many cigarettes, and came to a decision. Then he went into town and had his hair cut for the first time in ten years. Long white locks fell to the floor, along with the remains…

I became a writer because I like to write. But I also did it for the attention. At one point, I wanted to be just like J.D. Salinger — but when it turned out he was a recluse, I dropped him. I would make a terrible recluse. On the off…

Because it was spring, I was craving the sort of home-improvement supplies you need at this time of renewal, when outdoor projects seem not only possible, but inevitable. I was considering scraping and sanding decks, cobbling together outdoor furniture, laying down swaths of concrete, maybe even wielding a tube of…

The Russian thistle is the worst of weeds. Brought over in the trouser cuff of a clueless immigrant, it buried its evil seed in the Nebraska sand more than a century ago and soon took over. Today the Russian thistle’s empire stretches well into the Rocky Mountains. Although the thistle’s…