People & Places

Dalton Trumbo was a true talent and, as a onetime member of the Communist Party who refused to rat out his fellow travelers, a true victim of a political witchhunt that burned through the University of Colorado fifty years ago. Long may his fountain stand on the Boulder campus, as a reminder that some issues are worth fighting for.

Many journalism students graduate without picking up much real-world reporting experience — but Megan Fromm and Heath Urie are notable exceptions. Fromm, who edited the Mesa State Criterion, sued her college for the minutes of a meeting that was closed but shouldn’t have been; Urie, the student in charge of the UNC Mirror, filed suit against the school’s board of trustees, alleging that the paper’s funds had been cut in retaliation against its reporting. Both students emerged victorious after demonstrating the kind of persistence and integrity that should serve their future readers very well indeed.

“This is not what I wanted to be when I grew up,” confesses Traver Kauffman, the blogger behind Rake’s Progress in his “one-line bio,” but we’re awfully glad that this is what he became. Proving that blogs can be both entertaining and erudite, the literate, literary Rake’s Progress raises the level of discourse around Denver, and in the process receives raves throughout the blogosphere.

Since copping the “Best Online Gadfly” award last year for his eye-poking, gossip-dishing website, Mike Zinna has moved from the scandal-mongering fringe to the center of the political upheaval in Jefferson County. His efforts to expose “Pinky T,” the insiders who anonymously faxed him defamatory stuff about high-ranking county officials, have generated lawsuits and headlines. Many of his favorite targets in county government have resigned or been fired in recent months, but Zinna keeps expanding as a cyber-scourge. Recently, he launched a companion site devoted to the follies of Arvada; last fall he’d videotaped Mayor Ken Fellman removing political campaign signs. Technically, Zinna’s partner in scoops, Fonzi, is a German shepherd, but don’t be fooled: These guys can bite.

With so much attention being paid to high-profile contests like the Salazar-Coors face-off, few people concentrated on races for the Colorado Senate and House of Representatives — with four notable exceptions. Jared Polis, Tim Gill, Rutt Bridges and Pat Stryker, a quartet of well-heeled lefties, poured a total of almost $2 million into campaigns for these offices — a staggering sum, given past election coffers. But you get what you pay for — particularly when the other side doesn’t know you’re in the market. While Republicans made gains in most states across the country (especially the red ones), Democrats achieved majorities in both houses of the Colorado Legislature for the first time in forty years. It wouldn’t have added up that way without this fearsome foursome.

Back when he was running for U.S. Senate rather than running a brewing company, Pete Coors debated Ken Salazar on Meet the Press. When it came to weapons of mass destruction, the Republican hopeful pronounced, Iraq was less of a concern than “Iran and North Dakota” — a declaration that came as disturbing news to the folks in Fargo. Yeah, Coors corrected that to “North Korea” a few seconds later, without prompting, but his remark still stands as the most entertaining faux pas of the entire election season.

At an April 2004 event announcing Pete Coors’s intention to run for the Senate, Rocky Mountain News columnist Mike Littwin asked retiring Senator Ben Nighthorse Campbell if he had any problems with advertisements starring the buxom Coors Light Twins. Seconds later, upon eyeballing a flier with an image of the globular gals, Campbell delivered the horniest endorsement this side of the Oval Office: “Whoa, what the hell’s the matter with that? Hey, what have you got in your pants? You got ice water in your veins, buddy…? I’m not that old.” Campbell subsequently denied asking Littwin what he was packing between his legs, but Littwin had a recording of the exchange — and that response was definitely worth saving for posterity.

Coloradans for Plain Talk wanted Congresswoman Marilyn Musgrave to be defeated in the worst way — and they proved it with attack advertisements they financed to undermine her candidacy. The commercials, which featured a pink-suited Musgrave surrogate picking a soldier’s pocket and robbing a corpse in an open casket, displayed a wicked sense of humor that tickled funny bones even as they made jaws drop. Although they failed to prevent Musgrave from getting re-elected, these ads were winners with us.

By refusing to talk about his separation from his wife, Governor Bill Owens has kept the rumor mill grinding away 24/7 — and what a wonderfully voluminous gusher of gossip it’s produced. Among the most prevalent whispers, none of which are supported by the slightest evidence: Owens is or was having an affair with a campaign aide from his first race for governor, his earlier race for state treasurer, an attorney in the governor’s office, an intern in the governor’s office and/or a principal at a local school, and these relationships led to an abortion or the birth of either one or two children who range in age from newborn to early teens. Or he is or was having an affair with a university president of the same sex, resulting in no illegitimate births. Seldom has someone’s decision to keep his mouth shut resulted in so much chatter for such an extended period of time. In these hard economic times, it’s definitely a growth industry.

Andrew Romanoff, the 38-year-old Speaker of the House, displayed the savvy of a longtime pol when he brokered a budget deal in the General Assembly this spring. He cares about people as much as he does the political game, though. He also loves dogs and is single — which means we won’t have to listen to any rumors about his marriage breaking up. Now if we could just convince him not to finish law school…

Among the accomplishments of Hunter S. Thompson, this state’s most famous adopted son, was that he “certainly increased substantially the alcohol consumption at the Woody Creek Tavern,” Governor Bill Owens pronounced. All of Colorado is still on fire over that one.

Four years ago, Colorado’s governor was rumored to be in line for president. The rumors just didn’t say president of what. And now, eighteen months after his separation torpedoed whatever political future Bill Owens might have had, why not simply send him south to Colorado Springs and make him head of Focus on the Family? With his penchant for national publicity and his conservative-values bent, he could easily take over where James Dobson leaves off. But Owens might want to save some time to focus on his own family.

The title Terms of Endearment is already taken, but during her four and a half years at the University of Colorado, president Elizabeth Hoffman has collected enough dramatic material to keep an author busy for decades. And with her background in medieval studies — Hoffman may not know when to fire an athletic director, but she knows her Chaucer — she should be able to tell those stories with a verve that will thrill cuntless fans.

One-time University of Colorado film students Trey Parker and Matt Stone took note of their alma mater’s most infamous professor with an episode of South Park called “Die Hippie Die,” in which a character named Crunchy referred to “little Eichmanns,” using Ward Churchill’s most infamous utterance.

No, you can’t fire Ward Churchill for what he’s said. And the University of Colorado Regents won’t buy him out, for fear of what everyone else will say. So why not merge the school’s two longest-running scandals and let Ward Churchill lead Ralphie off the ignominious field of CU’s roughest legal battle, letting the pair ride off into the sunset — and out of the headlines? Go away, Buffs!

Communities that have banned pit bulls may want to rewrite their laws to cover Dan Caplis and Craig Silverman, KHOW’s new team. Like the controversial breed of canines, they won’t let go once they’ve sunk their teeth into someone — especially when that someone is embattled University of Colorado professor Ward Churchill. For months, the legal twosome has devoted most of its broadcast to cataloguing Churchill’s alleged sins, and rather than report on other reporting, the two have uncovered new recordings and documents that have advanced the story. Even those who disagree with their conclusions have to acknowledge their doggedness.

Once upon a time, on radios very much like those commonly sold today, DJs had unique personas that set them apart from everyone else on the airwaves. But such individuality has been on the wane since corporations discovered that air personalities, like nuts and bolts, cost less when they’re interchangeable. So praise be for Gregg Stone, aka Uncle Nasty, whose gruff tone, tough-guy lingo and deep knowledge of hard rock and heavy metal continue to distinguish KBPI on weekday afternoons.

A lot of for-profit radio outlets talk a good game about supporting local bands and musicians, but it’s mostly lip service. The Mountain is an exception to this rule. On The Mountain Homegrown Show, a specialty program that airs Mondays at 10 p.m., host Jake Schroeder, of Opie Gone Bad renown, spotlights performances and interviews with prominent local talent. As a bonus, the station also sponsors regular showcases for these folks at venues like Bender’s Tavern, and it sprinkles tunes by Coloradans into its regular playlist.

When it debuted in 1998, Radio 1190 was a godsend for the disgruntled radio listener — a blast of fresh, inspiring music spun by CU students whose sense of excitement burst through the speakers. Nearly seven years later, the thrill isn’t gone. DJs come and DJs go, but the station continues to serve as a valuable resource for any music lover who wants to hear the finest new sounds from nearly every popular genre and some not-so-popular ones, as well. Radio 1190 is a life raft in a sea of homogenized sound.

Of course, some lefties feel the kind of programming that dominates AM 760 isn’t liberal enough, which explains why KGNU has thrived in Boulder for so long — and without much of a Denver audience, since KGNU’s signal had trouble reaching very far into the city. The solution came when KGNU purchased KJME/1390 AM, for $4.1 million. That’s a hefty investment for a grassroots organization, but for residents of the Mile High City who’ve always wanted to experience KGNU’s eclectic and adventurous music-and-information lineup, the results have been well worth it.

Not so long ago, talk-radio aficionados even slightly to the left of John Wayne were pretty much out of luck in these parts. After all, most attempts to broaden the spectrum — e.g., KNRC — have ended badly. It’s too early to say if AM 760 will reverse this trend, but the station has a better chance than most of its predecessors thanks to Clear Channel, its deep-pocketed and generally conservative corporate parent. Meanwhile, local libbies can enjoy Jay Marvin and high-profile fare from Air America that would otherwise only be available online.

During the late ’90s, Jay Marvin manned the afternoon-drive slot on KHOW, and his show was a highlight of the era — animated, thought-provoking and consistently unpredictable. Marvin subsequently left for Chicago, but when execs at AM 760 decided to add a local host to the station’s primarily syndicated format, they invited him back. Wise move. Marvin is as persnickety as ever, and his presence provides the outlet with some much-needed personality: his.

The Fan may be the best-known sports-talk broadcaster in Denver, but it no longer has the best morning show, and Tim Neverett can take much of the credit for that. Working in conjunction with Denver Post columnist Jim Armstrong (a past winner of this prize, and deservedly so), Neverett keeps the program moving no matter the topic or theme, and his smart, no-bull approach to interviewing and breezy, conversational style is a lot more user-friendly than the tedious homerism so prevalent a few clicks down the dial. Real sports fans will be impressed.

A lot of yakkers rely on stunts, shtick or the sort of speechifying that toes one ideological line or another. Not Peter Boyles, who’s survived for decades in the Denver market precisely because regular listeners don’t always know what he’s going to say about a particular issue before he opens his mouth. For that matter, neither does Boyles, an idiosyncratic contrarian who rejects the one-size-fits-all approach. Folks who tune him in weekday mornings may find themselves agreeing — or disagreeing — with him when they least expect it. And that’s good radio.

The settlement of the Kobe Bryant case robbed the public of a homegrown spectacle that might have rivaled the Michael Jackson trial — although it’s unlikely Bryant would have shown up for court wearing pajama pants. Still, voyeurs got a hint of what might have been, thanks to Eagle County court reporter Michelle Goodbee, who accidentally e-mailed over 200 pages of transcripts from June 21-22 pre-trial hearings to the Denver Post and several other major news organizations. The best revelation came courtesy of Dr. Elizabeth Johnson, who said that accuser Katelyn Faber’s purple thong underwear contained DNA from an unknown person she referred to as “Mr. X.” We may never know this mystery man’s identity, but one thing’s for sure: X marked the spot.

When alleged rapes are before the criminal-justice system, the question of whether to identify the alleged victims is tricky. But the matter is quite different when it comes to civil court, since money, not jail time, is at the crux of such cases. Nevertheless, even after the criminal charges against Kobe Bryant were dropped and the incident moved into the civil arena, most news organizations declined to name Katelyn Faber, the woman who claimed Bryant had sexually assaulted her. The Rocky Mountain News was an exception to this rule, and its use of both her moniker and photograph proved to be entirely fair, reasonable and straightforward.

Mike Nelson, the new weatherman on Channel 7, is as comfortable for Denver viewers as an old shoe. When Channel 9 balked at his salary demands, Channel 7 tossed lotsa cash at Nelson, and since making the move, he’s done a lot more than sit back and count his money. He’s forecasting up a storm at his new home, and although it’s too early to predict fair ratings for perennial loser 7News, Nelson’s off to a strong start.

From the beginning, Channel 31’s 9 p.m. newscast had a weak link: former Broncos placekicker David Treadwell, who did a fine job gabbing about sports on the radio, but looked wooden and awkward in the glare of TV lights. The arrival of Eric Goodman, who most recently worked at a Fox Sports Net outlet in Chicago, has given the show a significant boost. He’s a fast-talking, quick-witted sports nut from the old school; he’s even got a facial mole, like a lot of broadcasters did in the years before TV news became so homogenized. He gives recitations of scores and stats the sort of boot Treadwell managed on the field, but not on the air. Hiring Goodman was a good move.

Drew Soicher’s move from Channel 9’s early shift to its late one hasn’t been controversy-free. Some viewers unfamiliar with his sardonic approach find him too shticky for their taste, and he’s often tardy covering a lot of high-profile events, including most Broncos games, because he doesn’t work weekends. So pardon us for once again giving our regards to Drew, who’s solidified his position as the most entertaining and unpredictable sportscaster on the Denver airwaves. He’s got balls.

When Channel 9 raided its own morning show to fill holes at night, Channel 4 decided to rise and shine to the occasion. The chemistry between early-a.m. personalities Scott Sander, Brooke Wagner, Ed Greene, Wayne Herman and Mark McIntosh, supplemented by the ace traffic team of Luan Akin and Lynn Carey, rivals that achieved by Channel 9 before the old gang split. The departure of Sander this March could change that, but in the meantime, one thing’s clear: The contest for Denver TV supremacy in the mornings is no longer a one-horse race.

The turnover of talent on Channel 9’s 10 p.m. newscast has been enormous. With the retirement of Ed Sardella, the ship-jumping of Mike Nelson and the ignominious removal of sports hunk Tony Zarrella, only anchor Adele Arakawa remains from the crew that had attracted large audiences for years, and her new counterpart, Bob Kendrick, isn’t exactly Mr. Charisma. But Roger Ogden, the station’s president and general manager, came up with a surefire way to compensate, bringing up weathercaster Kathy Sabine and sportscaster Drew Soicher from the outlet’s ultra-successful morning show. Thanks to their presence, the newscast has been revitalized — much to the chagrin of its competitors.

According to most television-news experts, viewers prefer old, comfortable faces to new, unfamiliar ones — but Asha Blake blows right through that theory. Denver’s newest anchor looks young, but she has an extremely impressive resumé, having hosted such national programs as Later Today and Good Morning America Sunday, and she displays all this skill and savvy on Channel 2, whose ratings-challenged late-night newscast desperately needed the star power she delivers. While Blake is still a relative unknown in this city, she’s worth getting to know.

Tired of the same old Barbie and Ken clones on the local news? Tune into Channel 12’s weekly LGBT news show, Colorado OutSpoken, where you’ll find a breath of fresh air (and maybe a whoopee cushion) with Ann Lincoln. While she seems like a pro on this show, she’s a real clown — the kind who wears big floppy shoes and baggy braced pants and a rainbow shirt and a funny hat and a clown nose. Lincoln not only works as a clown/magician for hire — she’s a hot commodity at all the cool kids’ parties — but she also doubles as a comic, juggler and fire-eater. Take that, Katie Couric.

For Blinky, videographer Brian Malone peeled away the makeup worn by Russell Scott, aka Blinky the Clown, who hosted Blinky’s Fun Club on Channel 2 for an astonishing 33 years. Using archival footage and contemporary interviews with family members, sometimes-persnickety colleagues and the man himself, Malone created an unexpectedly complex portrait of Scott, a born ham who had trouble adapting to changing times (at one point in the flick, he complained that “education was being shoved down our throats!”) and continues to yearn for the spotlight. The doc’s conclusion, which featured an elderly Blinky glad-handing people on the 16th Street Mall, captured the joy and sadness of a lifetime spent clowning around.

Local gazillionaire Phil Anschutz is notoriously press-shy — so what kind of business is he branching into? The press! Anschutz bought the venerable San Francisco Examiner and turned it into a free daily, then exported the concept to Washington, D.C., and may well do likewise in metropolitan areas around the country. But he’s interested in more than the print media. Anschutz, a devoted Christian, is bringing his values to the nation’s multiplexes though such films as Because of Winn-Dixie; he also financed the lion’s share of Ray, for which Jamie Foxx won a Best Actor Oscar. In less than a year, Anschutz has become one of the most-talked-about media figures in America — even if he isn’t doing any of the talking.

The woman in the co-pilot seat of Channel 9’s helicopter isn’t a dog. Man, Taunia Hottman is hot.

So, Jennifer — how does it feel to be worshiped by Madonna?

As the constant companion of Channel 31 traffic-helicopter pilot Rob Marshall, Dylan, a golden retriever, doesn’t have a lot of room to roam; viewers of Good Day Colorado usually see him lying on the floor of the chopper, waiting for his next Scooby snack. Yet despite these live-TV limitations, the camera, like the audience, loves Dylan, and his abundant coat is a big reason why. The morning light sets it to shining, and the dog basks in the rich glow like the four-legged celebrity he is. Let the fur fly!

Channel 9 morning anchor Kyle Dyer, a past winner of the coveted Best Hair honor, gave birth to daughter Elizabeth on Friday, January 28. The following Monday, the first footage of the baby was aired by the station, and Dyer’s on-air partner, Gary Shapiro, noted that Elizabeth had her mom’s hairstyle. He was right: Only a weekend removed from the womb, the infant already had plenty of dark, luxuriant hair, and it looked fabulous. Check this space in twenty years or so, and odds are good that she’ll be getting a nod in the adult category.

Back when being a columnist for the Denver Post was his main gig and not an occasional sideline, Woody Paige looked like his hair had been scissored by someone who used a Tupperware tub to compensate for far-sightedness. But after being chosen to dish on ESPN’s Around the Horn a few years back, Paige put his sorry mane in the hands of professionals, and they dragged him into the 21st century. Today, as a New York-based regular on Cold Pizza, ESPN2’s morning show, Paige is practically the hair-product poster boy. Sure, he may mess with mousse a little too often, but his crazy coiffure is the perfect complement to his cartoony yammering.

Many women who make the transition from radio to television aren’t allowed on screen until they’ve been given the regulation beagle-ears haircut that’s rightly regarded as a broadcast cliche. Fortunately, KOA-banterer-turned-sportscaster Susie Wargin has avoided this fate. Her lush, pre-Raphaelite tresses curl along the sides of her face or twist overhead like benign, dirty-blond variations on Medusa’s snakes. This is the boldest and wildest ‘do currently seen on the Denver tube. It has so much attitude that it could probably deliver the sports all by itself.

Jeremy Hubbard took over Channel 31’s weekend anchor slot from Phil Keating, who had a lock on great locks. That’s a big barber chair to fill, but Hubbard is up to the challenge. His follicles frequently shoot skyward like geological outcroppings, yet the shape and size of the ledges and projections tend to shift from show to show, and even segment to segment. As a result, watching Hubbard read headlines is akin to using time-lapse photography to observe the formation of Red Rocks — which, like his hair, is truly a natural wonder.

At this time last year, practically everything about the Denver Post was unattractive in the extreme. The photographs were blurry and indistinct; the type style was smudgy and clotted; the layout was haphazard. Then a team led by Damon Cain, the paper’s managing editor for presentation and design, tore up the previous template and started from scratch. The new concept debuted last May, and it was a revelation — an elegant broadsheet that’s extremely readable and easy on the eyes. These days, the ugly duckling of Denver newspapers is a lot closer to being a swan.

The JOA may have preserved Denver’s two competing dailies, but Brenda Bailey-Hainer and her Colorado Historical Newspaper Digital Project may save many, many more with their statewide historic newspaper database, searchable by both subject and publication.

The old Tivoli brewery that now serves as the Auraria Higher Education student center received a couple of interior updates after it quit shipping suds in 1969. But it wasn’t until last year that the seven-story, circa 1890 building got a facelift that stripped away years and many layers of paint, making it a worthy landmark at the edge of downtown.

Old downtown Aurora has gotten pretty rundown over the years — and that’s precisely why the city’s officials have put so much time and money into revitalizing it. The centerpiece of their efforts is the new Martin Luther King Jr. Library, a downright glamorous-looking neo-modern building by Michael Brendle that opened last year. The facility, which also houses city offices, is constructed of gray brick accented by big sheets of ethereal blue-tinted glass, with rectangular volumes stepping in and out of the main pavilion. The structure is striking and has become an instant landmark — but Aurora will need more than that to get this grungy area back on track.

Early this year, Governor Bill Owens and Mayor John Hickenlooper presided over the grand opening of a new charter school. Built on land donated by Stapleton developer Forest City, the Denver School of Science and Technology is aimed at high school students with a gift for math, science and high tech. But whether they notice or not, the students will also be exposed to art: the sophisticated neo-modern building designed by Denver architect Brian Klipp, a rambling, exaggeratedly horizontal form carried out in silvery gray metal, painted stucco and scorched bricks. There are any number of stylistic flourishes on view — corner windows, ribbon windows and eyebrow sun screens — but the most spectacular is the entry pergola created from canted wooden beams and steel cable riggings. This cool school gets an A+ for style.

Hangar 61, one of the last remnants of Stapleton Airport, is a masterful, mid-century modernist structure with a dramatic form that resembles a cluster of pie slices but is actually a composition of fragmentary hyperbolic arches held in place by massive concrete anchors. Built to house Ideal Basic Cement Company’s corporate plane, it’s so stylish that it looks like James Bond could have used it. It was designed by Fisher and Fisher and Davis, a Denver firm that traced its origins to William Ellsworth Fisher, an architect responsible for several LoDo landmarks. The organization ultimately evolved into the Davis Partnership, which is currently collaborating with Daniel Libeskind on the Denver Art Museum’s Hamilton Building. Despite its noble lineage, Hangar 61 is threatened with demolition: Its fate will be determined by the Denver City Council this spring.

The elevated portion of I-70 that cuts across north Denver is an ugly behemoth that scarred the Swansea and Elyria neighborhoods — which is one reason there’s talk of moving the highway out of there. In the meantime, though, as part of a bigger effort to ennoble ignoble spaces along I-70, the Colorado Department of Transportation commissioned artists to do murals. Among them was Martha Daniels, who, in her biggest piece ever, festooned the Washington Street underpass with “Currents and Eddies,” a tile mural. Using both ready-made and artist-made tiles, the mural abstractly conveys the nearby Platte River — and does so beautifully. In this case, at least, CDOT made the best of a bad situation.

Sure, you depend on MapQuest to figure out where you’re going — the majority of the country does — but did you realize that the company that gives us direction is now celebrating its tenth year in business? And in Denver.

Denver is a city with great views — but the best may be on Denverite Dave Krick’s “ultimate virtual reality site,” www.arounddenver.com, which offers stunning, panoramic views of assorted spots in the metro area. Seeing is believing.

Ignore that hairy back directly in front of you. Sitting in the Rockpile at Coors Field at dusk, watching the dimming light turn the glass of downtown’s skyscrapers into silver and the old brick warehouses to a dusky gold, gazing beyond the Platte Valley to the mountains that gave our baseball team its name, you see why it’s a privilege to live in Colorado. And it would be even better if the Rockies won a game.

Two massive stone monuments etched with downtown maps stand on either side of Speer Boulevard as it leaves northwest Denver and heads down into the city. But you don’t need to study those to know what lies ahead, because you can see everything in the stunning 180-degree view, from Invesco Field at Mile High to the right all the way to Coors Field at the left. With stops for the Platte Valley, Elitch’s and Ocean Journey, the Millennium Bridge, the “Travel by Train” sign at Union Station, the converted warehouses, the high-rises behind the converted warehouses, even the top of the Denver City and County Building and the dome of the State Capitol building, the history of the Queen City of the Plains — both good and bad — spreads before you. Read it and reap.

We’re not in Kansas anymore! And that’s about all we know when we land at this intersection of Second Avenue and Clayton, which used to lead directly into the Sears automotive-service area. But now this one-block stretch is all va-va-vroom, with a prettified name — Clayton Lane — giving a certain je ne sais fucking quoi to a slicked-up street life that bears no resemblance to the kinds of life you find anywhere else in town. Get an eyeful as all the beautiful people — are we on Planet Pretty? — flit in and out of the new shops, the new restaurants, the new hotel. Cherry Creek’s on a stroll, and we’re watching.

Have you recently moved into one of Denver’s fresh new neighborhoods and found yourself trading Tupperware with a fabulously gowned and mustachioed matriarch by the name of Nuclia Waste? Then welcome to Gaypleton. The once-abandoned landing strip of the former Stapleton Airport is now taking off as a hot ‘hood that’s snagged the queer eye. But homophobic house hunters need not fear. Even the happy folks at www.gaypleton.com don’t take themselves too seriously, as they make clear in their disclaimer: “It’s just a bunch of homos who live in Stapleton and like to have parties.” Ahh, home, sweet homo.

Wavering between old, abandoned factory and gentrifiable condominium complex, the Gates Rubber building doesn’t appear to be a hotbed of, well, anything. At best, it’s a little bit of Queens right off I-25. But for experienced spray-painters (and criminal trespassers), the place is an amusement park, art gallery and Mt. Everest all rolled into one. Because after they get past the private-property signs, chain-link fences and high red-brick walls hung with stopped clocks, this is graffiti heaven. Huge block letters dominate the upper facades; the high windows are painted backward on the inside so that their messages are legible from the street. Mountaineers, ahoy: The crowning water tower is looking awfully drab.

The enormous head stares at traffic headed east on Colfax with a cold, smarmy sneer. There’s something about this man that you just don’t trust. Maybe it’s his surly glare, or maybe it’s just the giant lettering next to him that asks, “Who Invited Syphilis to the Party?” Jesus, that’s a little direct, isn’t it? But we’ve all seen it a million times. The night is in full swing, second keg just got tapped, and then in walks Syphilis, covered in lesions, with swollen lymph nodes and patchy bald spots on his head. Nobody will fess up to inviting him, but he’s there just the same, and he’s ready to party. This billboard is positioned so creepily — above the Guardian Angels’ headquarters and kitty-corner from one of the most high-traffic prostitution spots in the city — that many passersby just might heed the advice to “Get Tested” and call the prominently displayed number. Now, that’s what we call a party favor.

Campus kiosks, newspaper event calendars and city-specific websites are all well and good, but you can’t beat the backsides of bars and adult bookstores for ambience. This bulletin board, stuck to the back of the building housing Sancho’s Broken Arrow, exists for the stated purpose of providing publicity for the bar’s upcoming acts and those of its drinking buddies: Cervantes’ Masterpiece Ballroom, Quixote’s True Blue and Dulcinea’s 100th Monkey. But while you can certainly find fliers for the DarkStar show, it’s no surprise to also find other engrossing items on this board: cool indie stickers, particularly tasteful centerfolds torn from mags at the Kitty’s outpost next door, offers for guitar lessons. Look across the alley toward the Denver Police Department’s District 6 station before pinning up your ad for Used Bowflex, $20 OBO.

Sitting on the steps of the Immaculate Conception cathedral’s gothic entryway, or on a bench inside the courtyard garden blessed by Pope John Paul II himself, you may voyeurize the entire teeming array of life on Colfax Avenue. Perps, pervs and priests by the paddy-wagon-full. Hookers enjoying fresh McDonald’s Big Macs. Across the street, a space for lease, a temp agency, an Asian restaurant, a drug and liquor store. The cathedral’s garden is surrounded by a high, black-metal fence tipped with crosses and dull spikes, but the gate is open, and it’s filled with topiary and amiable vagrants. A sign near the gate maintains that drugs, alcohol and loitering are not tolerated in a place honored with the title of “basilica” by big J.P. 2 on Christmas Day, 1979. That lightning once struck the east spire is proof enough.

Dalton Trumbo was a true talent and, as a onetime member of the Communist Party who refused to rat out his fellow travelers, a true victim of a political witchhunt that burned through the University of Colorado fifty years ago. Long may his fountain stand on the Boulder campus, as a reminder that some issues are worth fighting for.

Many journalism students graduate without picking up much real-world reporting experience — but Megan Fromm and Heath Urie are notable exceptions. Fromm, who edited the Mesa State Criterion, sued her college for the minutes of a meeting that was closed but shouldn’t have been; Urie, the student in charge of the UNC Mirror, filed suit against the school’s board of trustees, alleging that the paper’s funds had been cut in retaliation against its reporting. Both students emerged victorious after demonstrating the kind of persistence and integrity that should serve their future readers very well indeed.

“This is not what I wanted to be when I grew up,” confesses Traver Kauffman, the blogger behind Rake’s Progress in his “one-line bio,” but we’re awfully glad that this is what he became. Proving that blogs can be both entertaining and erudite, the literate, literary Rake’s Progress raises the level of discourse around Denver, and in the process receives raves throughout the blogosphere.

Since copping the “Best Online Gadfly” award last year for his eye-poking, gossip-dishing website, Mike Zinna has moved from the scandal-mongering fringe to the center of the political upheaval in Jefferson County. His efforts to expose “Pinky T,” the insiders who anonymously faxed him defamatory stuff about high-ranking county officials, have generated lawsuits and headlines. Many of his favorite targets in county government have resigned or been fired in recent months, but Zinna keeps expanding as a cyber-scourge. Recently, he launched a companion site devoted to the follies of Arvada; last fall he’d videotaped Mayor Ken Fellman removing political campaign signs. Technically, Zinna’s partner in scoops, Fonzi, is a German shepherd, but don’t be fooled: These guys can bite.

With so much attention being paid to high-profile contests like the Salazar-Coors face-off, few people concentrated on races for the Colorado Senate and House of Representatives — with four notable exceptions. Jared Polis, Tim Gill, Rutt Bridges and Pat Stryker, a quartet of well-heeled lefties, poured a total of almost $2 million into campaigns for these offices — a staggering sum, given past election coffers. But you get what you pay for — particularly when the other side doesn’t know you’re in the market. While Republicans made gains in most states across the country (especially the red ones), Democrats achieved majorities in both houses of the Colorado Legislature for the first time in forty years. It wouldn’t have added up that way without this fearsome foursome.

Back when he was running for U.S. Senate rather than running a brewing company, Pete Coors debated Ken Salazar on Meet the Press. When it came to weapons of mass destruction, the Republican hopeful pronounced, Iraq was less of a concern than “Iran and North Dakota” — a declaration that came as disturbing news to the folks in Fargo. Yeah, Coors corrected that to “North Korea” a few seconds later, without prompting, but his remark still stands as the most entertaining faux pas of the entire election season.

At an April 2004 event announcing Pete Coors’s intention to run for the Senate, Rocky Mountain News columnist Mike Littwin asked retiring Senator Ben Nighthorse Campbell if he had any problems with advertisements starring the buxom Coors Light Twins. Seconds later, upon eyeballing a flier with an image of the globular gals, Campbell delivered the horniest endorsement this side of the Oval Office: “Whoa, what the hell’s the matter with that? Hey, what have you got in your pants? You got ice water in your veins, buddy…? I’m not that old.” Campbell subsequently denied asking Littwin what he was packing between his legs, but Littwin had a recording of the exchange — and that response was definitely worth saving for posterity.

Coloradans for Plain Talk wanted Congresswoman Marilyn Musgrave to be defeated in the worst way — and they proved it with attack advertisements they financed to undermine her candidacy. The commercials, which featured a pink-suited Musgrave surrogate picking a soldier’s pocket and robbing a corpse in an open casket, displayed a wicked sense of humor that tickled funny bones even as they made jaws drop. Although they failed to prevent Musgrave from getting re-elected, these ads were winners with us.

By refusing to talk about his separation from his wife, Governor Bill Owens has kept the rumor mill grinding away 24/7 — and what a wonderfully voluminous gusher of gossip it’s produced. Among the most prevalent whispers, none of which are supported by the slightest evidence: Owens is or was having an affair with a campaign aide from his first race for governor, his earlier race for state treasurer, an attorney in the governor’s office, an intern in the governor’s office and/or a principal at a local school, and these relationships led to an abortion or the birth of either one or two children who range in age from newborn to early teens. Or he is or was having an affair with a university president of the same sex, resulting in no illegitimate births. Seldom has someone’s decision to keep his mouth shut resulted in so much chatter for such an extended period of time. In these hard economic times, it’s definitely a growth industry.

Andrew Romanoff, the 38-year-old Speaker of the House, displayed the savvy of a longtime pol when he brokered a budget deal in the General Assembly this spring. He cares about people as much as he does the political game, though. He also loves dogs and is single — which means we won’t have to listen to any rumors about his marriage breaking up. Now if we could just convince him not to finish law school…

Among the accomplishments of Hunter S. Thompson, this state’s most famous adopted son, was that he “certainly increased substantially the alcohol consumption at the Woody Creek Tavern,” Governor Bill Owens pronounced. All of Colorado is still on fire over that one.

Four years ago, Colorado’s governor was rumored to be in line for president. The rumors just didn’t say president of what. And now, eighteen months after his separation torpedoed whatever political future Bill Owens might have had, why not simply send him south to Colorado Springs and make him head of Focus on the Family? With his penchant for national publicity and his conservative-values bent, he could easily take over where James Dobson leaves off. But Owens might want to save some time to focus on his own family.

The title Terms of Endearment is already taken, but during her four and a half years at the University of Colorado, president Elizabeth Hoffman has collected enough dramatic material to keep an author busy for decades. And with her background in medieval studies — Hoffman may not know when to fire an athletic director, but she knows her Chaucer — she should be able to tell those stories with a verve that will thrill cuntless fans.

One-time University of Colorado film students Trey Parker and Matt Stone took note of their alma mater’s most infamous professor with an episode of South Park called “Die Hippie Die,” in which a character named Crunchy referred to “little Eichmanns,” using Ward Churchill’s most infamous utterance.

No, you can’t fire Ward Churchill for what he’s said. And the University of Colorado Regents won’t buy him out, for fear of what everyone else will say. So why not merge the school’s two longest-running scandals and let Ward Churchill lead Ralphie off the ignominious field of CU’s roughest legal battle, letting the pair ride off into the sunset — and out of the headlines? Go away, Buffs!

Communities that have banned pit bulls may want to rewrite their laws to cover Dan Caplis and Craig Silverman, KHOW’s new team. Like the controversial breed of canines, they won’t let go once they’ve sunk their teeth into someone — especially when that someone is embattled University of Colorado professor Ward Churchill. For months, the legal twosome has devoted most of its broadcast to cataloguing Churchill’s alleged sins, and rather than report on other reporting, the two have uncovered new recordings and documents that have advanced the story. Even those who disagree with their conclusions have to acknowledge their doggedness.

Once upon a time, on radios very much like those commonly sold today, DJs had unique personas that set them apart from everyone else on the airwaves. But such individuality has been on the wane since corporations discovered that air personalities, like nuts and bolts, cost less when they’re interchangeable. So praise be for Gregg Stone, aka Uncle Nasty, whose gruff tone, tough-guy lingo and deep knowledge of hard rock and heavy metal continue to distinguish KBPI on weekday afternoons.

A lot of for-profit radio outlets talk a good game about supporting local bands and musicians, but it’s mostly lip service. The Mountain is an exception to this rule. On The Mountain Homegrown Show, a specialty program that airs Mondays at 10 p.m., host Jake Schroeder, of Opie Gone Bad renown, spotlights performances and interviews with prominent local talent. As a bonus, the station also sponsors regular showcases for these folks at venues like Bender’s Tavern, and it sprinkles tunes by Coloradans into its regular playlist.

When it debuted in 1998, Radio 1190 was a godsend for the disgruntled radio listener — a blast of fresh, inspiring music spun by CU students whose sense of excitement burst through the speakers. Nearly seven years later, the thrill isn’t gone. DJs come and DJs go, but the station continues to serve as a valuable resource for any music lover who wants to hear the finest new sounds from nearly every popular genre and some not-so-popular ones, as well. Radio 1190 is a life raft in a sea of homogenized sound.

Of course, some lefties feel the kind of programming that dominates AM 760 isn’t liberal enough, which explains why KGNU has thrived in Boulder for so long — and without much of a Denver audience, since KGNU’s signal had trouble reaching very far into the city. The solution came when KGNU purchased KJME/1390 AM, for $4.1 million. That’s a hefty investment for a grassroots organization, but for residents of the Mile High City who’ve always wanted to experience KGNU’s eclectic and adventurous music-and-information lineup, the results have been well worth it.

Not so long ago, talk-radio aficionados even slightly to the left of John Wayne were pretty much out of luck in these parts. After all, most attempts to broaden the spectrum — e.g., KNRC — have ended badly. It’s too early to say if AM 760 will reverse this trend, but the station has a better chance than most of its predecessors thanks to Clear Channel, its deep-pocketed and generally conservative corporate parent. Meanwhile, local libbies can enjoy Jay Marvin and high-profile fare from Air America that would otherwise only be available online.

During the late ’90s, Jay Marvin manned the afternoon-drive slot on KHOW, and his show was a highlight of the era — animated, thought-provoking and consistently unpredictable. Marvin subsequently left for Chicago, but when execs at AM 760 decided to add a local host to the station’s primarily syndicated format, they invited him back. Wise move. Marvin is as persnickety as ever, and his presence provides the outlet with some much-needed personality: his.

The Fan may be the best-known sports-talk broadcaster in Denver, but it no longer has the best morning show, and Tim Neverett can take much of the credit for that. Working in conjunction with Denver Post columnist Jim Armstrong (a past winner of this prize, and deservedly so), Neverett keeps the program moving no matter the topic or theme, and his smart, no-bull approach to interviewing and breezy, conversational style is a lot more user-friendly than the tedious homerism so prevalent a few clicks down the dial. Real sports fans will be impressed.

A lot of yakkers rely on stunts, shtick or the sort of speechifying that toes one ideological line or another. Not Peter Boyles, who’s survived for decades in the Denver market precisely because regular listeners don’t always know what he’s going to say about a particular issue before he opens his mouth. For that matter, neither does Boyles, an idiosyncratic contrarian who rejects the one-size-fits-all approach. Folks who tune him in weekday mornings may find themselves agreeing — or disagreeing — with him when they least expect it. And that’s good radio.

The settlement of the Kobe Bryant case robbed the public of a homegrown spectacle that might have rivaled the Michael Jackson trial — although it’s unlikely Bryant would have shown up for court wearing pajama pants. Still, voyeurs got a hint of what might have been, thanks to Eagle County court reporter Michelle Goodbee, who accidentally e-mailed over 200 pages of transcripts from June 21-22 pre-trial hearings to the Denver Post and several other major news organizations. The best revelation came courtesy of Dr. Elizabeth Johnson, who said that accuser Katelyn Faber’s purple thong underwear contained DNA from an unknown person she referred to as “Mr. X.” We may never know this mystery man’s identity, but one thing’s for sure: X marked the spot.

When alleged rapes are before the criminal-justice system, the question of whether to identify the alleged victims is tricky. But the matter is quite different when it comes to civil court, since money, not jail time, is at the crux of such cases. Nevertheless, even after the criminal charges against Kobe Bryant were dropped and the incident moved into the civil arena, most news organizations declined to name Katelyn Faber, the woman who claimed Bryant had sexually assaulted her. The Rocky Mountain News was an exception to this rule, and its use of both her moniker and photograph proved to be entirely fair, reasonable and straightforward.

Mike Nelson, the new weatherman on Channel 7, is as comfortable for Denver viewers as an old shoe. When Channel 9 balked at his salary demands, Channel 7 tossed lotsa cash at Nelson, and since making the move, he’s done a lot more than sit back and count his money. He’s forecasting up a storm at his new home, and although it’s too early to predict fair ratings for perennial loser 7News, Nelson’s off to a strong start.

From the beginning, Channel 31’s 9 p.m. newscast had a weak link: former Broncos placekicker David Treadwell, who did a fine job gabbing about sports on the radio, but looked wooden and awkward in the glare of TV lights. The arrival of Eric Goodman, who most recently worked at a Fox Sports Net outlet in Chicago, has given the show a significant boost. He’s a fast-talking, quick-witted sports nut from the old school; he’s even got a facial mole, like a lot of broadcasters did in the years before TV news became so homogenized. He gives recitations of scores and stats the sort of boot Treadwell managed on the field, but not on the air. Hiring Goodman was a good move.

Drew Soicher’s move from Channel 9’s early shift to its late one hasn’t been controversy-free. Some viewers unfamiliar with his sardonic approach find him too shticky for their taste, and he’s often tardy covering a lot of high-profile events, including most Broncos games, because he doesn’t work weekends. So pardon us for once again giving our regards to Drew, who’s solidified his position as the most entertaining and unpredictable sportscaster on the Denver airwaves. He’s got balls.

When Channel 9 raided its own morning show to fill holes at night, Channel 4 decided to rise and shine to the occasion. The chemistry between early-a.m. personalities Scott Sander, Brooke Wagner, Ed Greene, Wayne Herman and Mark McIntosh, supplemented by the ace traffic team of Luan Akin and Lynn Carey, rivals that achieved by Channel 9 before the old gang split. The departure of Sander this March could change that, but in the meantime, one thing’s clear: The contest for Denver TV supremacy in the mornings is no longer a one-horse race.

The turnover of talent on Channel 9’s 10 p.m. newscast has been enormous. With the retirement of Ed Sardella, the ship-jumping of Mike Nelson and the ignominious removal of sports hunk Tony Zarrella, only anchor Adele Arakawa remains from the crew that had attracted large audiences for years, and her new counterpart, Bob Kendrick, isn’t exactly Mr. Charisma. But Roger Ogden, the station’s president and general manager, came up with a surefire way to compensate, bringing up weathercaster Kathy Sabine and sportscaster Drew Soicher from the outlet’s ultra-successful morning show. Thanks to their presence, the newscast has been revitalized — much to the chagrin of its competitors.

According to most television-news experts, viewers prefer old, comfortable faces to new, unfamiliar ones — but Asha Blake blows right through that theory. Denver’s newest anchor looks young, but she has an extremely impressive resumé, having hosted such national programs as Later Today and Good Morning America Sunday, and she displays all this skill and savvy on Channel 2, whose ratings-challenged late-night newscast desperately needed the star power she delivers. While Blake is still a relative unknown in this city, she’s worth getting to know.

Tired of the same old Barbie and Ken clones on the local news? Tune into Channel 12’s weekly LGBT news show, Colorado OutSpoken, where you’ll find a breath of fresh air (and maybe a whoopee cushion) with Ann Lincoln. While she seems like a pro on this show, she’s a real clown — the kind who wears big floppy shoes and baggy braced pants and a rainbow shirt and a funny hat and a clown nose. Lincoln not only works as a clown/magician for hire — she’s a hot commodity at all the cool kids’ parties — but she also doubles as a comic, juggler and fire-eater. Take that, Katie Couric.

For Blinky, videographer Brian Malone peeled away the makeup worn by Russell Scott, aka Blinky the Clown, who hosted Blinky’s Fun Club on Channel 2 for an astonishing 33 years. Using archival footage and contemporary interviews with family members, sometimes-persnickety colleagues and the man himself, Malone created an unexpectedly complex portrait of Scott, a born ham who had trouble adapting to changing times (at one point in the flick, he complained that “education was being shoved down our throats!”) and continues to yearn for the spotlight. The doc’s conclusion, which featured an elderly Blinky glad-handing people on the 16th Street Mall, captured the joy and sadness of a lifetime spent clowning around.

Local gazillionaire Phil Anschutz is notoriously press-shy — so what kind of business is he branching into? The press! Anschutz bought the venerable San Francisco Examiner and turned it into a free daily, then exported the concept to Washington, D.C., and may well do likewise in metropolitan areas around the country. But he’s interested in more than the print media. Anschutz, a devoted Christian, is bringing his values to the nation’s multiplexes though such films as Because of Winn-Dixie; he also financed the lion’s share of Ray, for which Jamie Foxx won a Best Actor Oscar. In less than a year, Anschutz has become one of the most-talked-about media figures in America — even if he isn’t doing any of the talking.

The woman in the co-pilot seat of Channel 9’s helicopter isn’t a dog. Man, Taunia Hottman is hot.

So, Jennifer — how does it feel to be worshiped by Madonna?

As the constant companion of Channel 31 traffic-helicopter pilot Rob Marshall, Dylan, a golden retriever, doesn’t have a lot of room to roam; viewers of Good Day Colorado usually see him lying on the floor of the chopper, waiting for his next Scooby snack. Yet despite these live-TV limitations, the camera, like the audience, loves Dylan, and his abundant coat is a big reason why. The morning light sets it to shining, and the dog basks in the rich glow like the four-legged celebrity he is. Let the fur fly!

Channel 9 morning anchor Kyle Dyer, a past winner of the coveted Best Hair honor, gave birth to daughter Elizabeth on Friday, January 28. The following Monday, the first footage of the baby was aired by the station, and Dyer’s on-air partner, Gary Shapiro, noted that Elizabeth had her mom’s hairstyle. He was right: Only a weekend removed from the womb, the infant already had plenty of dark, luxuriant hair, and it looked fabulous. Check this space in twenty years or so, and odds are good that she’ll be getting a nod in the adult category.

Back when being a columnist for the Denver Post was his main gig and not an occasional sideline, Woody Paige looked like his hair had been scissored by someone who used a Tupperware tub to compensate for far-sightedness. But after being chosen to dish on ESPN’s Around the Horn a few years back, Paige put his sorry mane in the hands of professionals, and they dragged him into the 21st century. Today, as a New York-based regular on Cold Pizza, ESPN2’s morning show, Paige is practically the hair-product poster boy. Sure, he may mess with mousse a little too often, but his crazy coiffure is the perfect complement to his cartoony yammering.

Many women who make the transition from radio to television aren’t allowed on screen until they’ve been given the regulation beagle-ears haircut that’s rightly regarded as a broadcast cliche. Fortunately, KOA-banterer-turned-sportscaster Susie Wargin has avoided this fate. Her lush, pre-Raphaelite tresses curl along the sides of her face or twist overhead like benign, dirty-blond variations on Medusa’s snakes. This is the boldest and wildest ‘do currently seen on the Denver tube. It has so much attitude that it could probably deliver the sports all by itself.

Jeremy Hubbard took over Channel 31’s weekend anchor slot from Phil Keating, who had a lock on great locks. That’s a big barber chair to fill, but Hubbard is up to the challenge. His follicles frequently shoot skyward like geological outcroppings, yet the shape and size of the ledges and projections tend to shift from show to show, and even segment to segment. As a result, watching Hubbard read headlines is akin to using time-lapse photography to observe the formation of Red Rocks — which, like his hair, is truly a natural wonder.

At this time last year, practically everything about the Denver Post was unattractive in the extreme. The photographs were blurry and indistinct; the type style was smudgy and clotted; the layout was haphazard. Then a team led by Damon Cain, the paper’s managing editor for presentation and design, tore up the previous template and started from scratch. The new concept debuted last May, and it was a revelation — an elegant broadsheet that’s extremely readable and easy on the eyes. These days, the ugly duckling of Denver newspapers is a lot closer to being a swan.

The JOA may have preserved Denver’s two competing dailies, but Brenda Bailey-Hainer and her Colorado Historical Newspaper Digital Project may save many, many more with their statewide historic newspaper database, searchable by both subject and publication.

The old Tivoli brewery that now serves as the Auraria Higher Education student center received a couple of interior updates after it quit shipping suds in 1969. But it wasn’t until last year that the seven-story, circa 1890 building got a facelift that stripped away years and many layers of paint, making it a worthy landmark at the edge of downtown.

Old downtown Aurora has gotten pretty rundown over the years — and that’s precisely why the city’s officials have put so much time and money into revitalizing it. The centerpiece of their efforts is the new Martin Luther King Jr. Library, a downright glamorous-looking neo-modern building by Michael Brendle that opened last year. The facility, which also houses city offices, is constructed of gray brick accented by big sheets of ethereal blue-tinted glass, with rectangular volumes stepping in and out of the main pavilion. The structure is striking and has become an instant landmark — but Aurora will need more than that to get this grungy area back on track.

Early this year, Governor Bill Owens and Mayor John Hickenlooper presided over the grand opening of a new charter school. Built on land donated by Stapleton developer Forest City, the Denver School of Science and Technology is aimed at high school students with a gift for math, science and high tech. But whether they notice or not, the students will also be exposed to art: the sophisticated neo-modern building designed by Denver architect Brian Klipp, a rambling, exaggeratedly horizontal form carried out in silvery gray metal, painted stucco and scorched bricks. There are any number of stylistic flourishes on view — corner windows, ribbon windows and eyebrow sun screens — but the most spectacular is the entry pergola created from canted wooden beams and steel cable riggings. This cool school gets an A+ for style.

Hangar 61, one of the last remnants of Stapleton Airport, is a masterful, mid-century modernist structure with a dramatic form that resembles a cluster of pie slices but is actually a composition of fragmentary hyperbolic arches held in place by massive concrete anchors. Built to house Ideal Basic Cement Company’s corporate plane, it’s so stylish that it looks like James Bond could have used it. It was designed by Fisher and Fisher and Davis, a Denver firm that traced its origins to William Ellsworth Fisher, an architect responsible for several LoDo landmarks. The organization ultimately evolved into the Davis Partnership, which is currently collaborating with Daniel Libeskind on the Denver Art Museum’s Hamilton Building. Despite its noble lineage, Hangar 61 is threatened with demolition: Its fate will be determined by the Denver City Council this spring.

The elevated portion of I-70 that cuts across north Denver is an ugly behemoth that scarred the Swansea and Elyria neighborhoods — which is one reason there’s talk of moving the highway out of there. In the meantime, though, as part of a bigger effort to ennoble ignoble spaces along I-70, the Colorado Department of Transportation commissioned artists to do murals. Among them was Martha Daniels, who, in her biggest piece ever, festooned the Washington Street underpass with “Currents and Eddies,” a tile mural. Using both ready-made and artist-made tiles, the mural abstractly conveys the nearby Platte River — and does so beautifully. In this case, at least, CDOT made the best of a bad situation.

Folks in the Kmart that anchors Broadway Marketplace claim that a sheriff patrols this parking lot until the Albertsons closes at midnight, but after that, the bland strip of paved land becomes the envy of Bandimere Speedway. Several nights a month, usually on weekends, Denver’s illegal racers congregate here to make use of the tree-median slaloms, ample exits and close access to Alameda, Broadway and I-25. Denver police have winked when speaking to Kmart employees and local residents about a pending sting, but the lot remains open at night for light-rail users. And our speed racers — engines revving, lights low — move fast between the different race courses on their circuit, sometimes stopping only to plan the next move and then peel out.

Sure, you depend on MapQuest to figure out where you’re going — the majority of the country does — but did you realize that the company that gives us direction is now celebrating its tenth year in business? And in Denver.

Denver is a city with great views — but the best may be on Denverite Dave Krick’s “ultimate virtual reality site,” www.arounddenver.com, which offers stunning, panoramic views of assorted spots in the metro area. Seeing is believing.

Ignore that hairy back directly in front of you. Sitting in the Rockpile at Coors Field at dusk, watching the dimming light turn the glass of downtown’s skyscrapers into silver and the old brick warehouses to a dusky gold, gazing beyond the Platte Valley to the mountains that gave our baseball team its name, you see why it’s a privilege to live in Colorado. And it would be even better if the Rockies won a game.

Two massive stone monuments etched with downtown maps stand on either side of Speer Boulevard as it leaves northwest Denver and heads down into the city. But you don’t need to study those to know what lies ahead, because you can see everything in the stunning 180-degree view, from Invesco Field at Mile High to the right all the way to Coors Field at the left. With stops for the Platte Valley, Elitch’s and Ocean Journey, the Millennium Bridge, the “Travel by Train” sign at Union Station, the converted warehouses, the high-rises behind the converted warehouses, even the top of the Denver City and County Building and the dome of the State Capitol building, the history of the Queen City of the Plains — both good and bad — spreads before you. Read it and reap.

We’re not in Kansas anymore! And that’s about all we know when we land at this intersection of Second Avenue and Clayton, which used to lead directly into the Sears automotive-service area. But now this one-block stretch is all va-va-vroom, with a prettified name — Clayton Lane — giving a certain je ne sais fucking quoi to a slicked-up street life that bears no resemblance to the kinds of life you find anywhere else in town. Get an eyeful as all the beautiful people — are we on Planet Pretty? — flit in and out of the new shops, the new restaurants, the new hotel. Cherry Creek’s on a stroll, and we’re watching.

Have you recently moved into one of Denver’s fresh new neighborhoods and found yourself trading Tupperware with a fabulously gowned and mustachioed matriarch by the name of Nuclia Waste? Then welcome to Gaypleton. The once-abandoned landing strip of the former Stapleton Airport is now taking off as a hot ‘hood that’s snagged the queer eye. But homophobic house hunters need not fear. Even the happy folks at www.gaypleton.com don’t take themselves too seriously, as they make clear in their disclaimer: “It’s just a bunch of homos who live in Stapleton and like to have parties.” Ahh, home, sweet homo.

Wavering between old, abandoned factory and gentrifiable condominium complex, the Gates Rubber building doesn’t appear to be a hotbed of, well, anything. At best, it’s a little bit of Queens right off I-25. But for experienced spray-painters (and criminal trespassers), the place is an amusement park, art gallery and Mt. Everest all rolled into one. Because after they get past the private-property signs, chain-link fences and high red-brick walls hung with stopped clocks, this is graffiti heaven. Huge block letters dominate the upper facades; the high windows are painted backward on the inside so that their messages are legible from the street. Mountaineers, ahoy: The crowning water tower is looking awfully drab.

The enormous head stares at traffic headed east on Colfax with a cold, smarmy sneer. There’s something about this man that you just don’t trust. Maybe it’s his surly glare, or maybe it’s just the giant lettering next to him that asks, “Who Invited Syphilis to the Party?” Jesus, that’s a little direct, isn’t it? But we’ve all seen it a million times. The night is in full swing, second keg just got tapped, and then in walks Syphilis, covered in lesions, with swollen lymph nodes and patchy bald spots on his head. Nobody will fess up to inviting him, but he’s there just the same, and he’s ready to party. This billboard is positioned so creepily — above the Guardian Angels’ headquarters and kitty-corner from one of the most high-traffic prostitution spots in the city — that many passersby just might heed the advice to “Get Tested” and call the prominently displayed number. Now, that’s what we call a party favor.

Campus kiosks, newspaper event calendars and city-specific websites are all well and good, but you can’t beat the backsides of bars and adult bookstores for ambience. This bulletin board, stuck to the back of the building housing Sancho’s Broken Arrow, exists for the stated purpose of providing publicity for the bar’s upcoming acts and those of its drinking buddies: Cervantes’ Masterpiece Ballroom, Quixote’s True Blue and Dulcinea’s 100th Monkey. But while you can certainly find fliers for the DarkStar show, it’s no surprise to also find other engrossing items on this board: cool indie stickers, particularly tasteful centerfolds torn from mags at the Kitty’s outpost next door, offers for guitar lessons. Look across the alley toward the Denver Police Department’s District 6 station before pinning up your ad for Used Bowflex, $20 OBO.

Sitting on the steps of the Immaculate Conception cathedral’s gothic entryway, or on a bench inside the courtyard garden blessed by Pope John Paul II himself, you may voyeurize the entire teeming array of life on Colfax Avenue. Perps, pervs and priests by the paddy-wagon-full. Hookers enjoying fresh McDonald’s Big Macs. Across the street, a space for lease, a temp agency, an Asian restaurant, a drug and liquor store. The cathedral’s garden is surrounded by a high, black-metal fence tipped with crosses and dull spikes, but the gate is open, and it’s filled with topiary and amiable vagrants. A sign near the gate maintains that drugs, alcohol and loitering are not tolerated in a place honored with the title of “basilica” by big J.P. 2 on Christmas Day, 1979. That lightning once struck the east spire is proof enough.