Morrison Inn

The Institute had decided to close out the summer with a showing of Old School at Red Rocks. Unfortunately, to get to the Morrison Inn (301 Bear Creek Avenue in Morrison) in time to sufficiently prepare ourselves for one of the greatest movies of all time, we had to head…

Backpacking Through Europe

During college, I studied in Spain for a semester and then backpacked through Europe for a month with a ragtag group of ramblers from the university I’d attended. The trip included a lot of walking, train riding, museum/church exploring and experiencing the different cultures of Europe (e.g., drinking wine in…

JD’s Bait Shop Sports Grill

It’s that most beautiful time of year when guys can disappear for up to 72 hours without too much questioning from the women in our lives. It’s that beautiful time when we can go to skin clubs or Hooters without even a bachelor party as an excuse. That time when…

Top Shelf Margarita

You’re not in Kansas anymore, honey. In a tourist town like Vail, how can service people who rely on tips afford to be rude? Not all of them are, of course, but when I asked the Tap Room’s bartender to add a shot to my drink (because the original pour…

Blue Bonnet

The Blue Bonnet (457 South Broadway) and I have shared a few life-defining moments. The bar here was the scene of several early dates and setups, with results ranging from “Thank God guys don’t really need women” to “Where the hell are my pants?” And at other times, a loud…

Trailer Park Mimosa

When I walk into a bar, I always ask the bartender for his or her specialty drink. This is the equivalent of asking a waiter to suggest the best thing on the menu, and most of the time, the tactic results in a very good cocktail. At a divier locale,…

Maggiano’s Little Italy

The next round of Nobel Peace Prizes may finally be money for the Institute of Drinking Studies. Nearly every Saturday and Sunday morning, we find ourselves wishing to hasten the end of the world — which obviously is nigh, if you read those Left Behind novels or live in northern…

Noodles & Company

When was the last time you had one of those days that made you wish you’d never been born? You know the kind of day I’m talking about. You get up early because you can’t be late for work. Despite waking up with a crick in your neck so bad…

Mojito

Every time I walk into Cuba Cuba, I can’t help but think of Matthew McConaughey. Naked. While I realize the Failure to Launch star’s nude bongo incident was back in 1999, I know he would love the bongo tables in the tiny bar at Cuba Cuba. Actually, I’m pretty sure…

Charlie Brown’s Bar and Grill

When a guy wants to enjoy a productive relationship with a woman (meaning sex with some regularity), he sometimes has to do things he normally wouldn’t do. Things like going to a shopping mall for a non-specific purpose, or watching a Lifetime movie that leaves you feeling like you need…

Gummy Bear

When most people hear the start of “We Three Kings,” they think of those Oriental kings bearing gifts from afar. Until recently, when I thought of three kings, they were Elvis, Martin Luther and Burger. But after a visit to 3 Kings Tavern, I now know they’re co-owners Jim Norris,…

Roughing It

Although I hate mass-market American “beer” — aka the root of all evil — there are times when drinking anything else would be wrong. And camping accounts for five of the top ten times when it’s absolutely correct to drink this swill. The first time is guy camping, when you…

Don’s Club Tavern

Progress is not always a good thing. I liked it better when draft beer only came from a keg, not a bottle or can. I remember when telephones were heavy, two-piece objects that could inflict severe closed-head injuries, not miniature electronic earpieces that people apparently think make them look cool…

Pisco Sour

Welcome to www.matchmycocktail.com. Uncommitted drinker who loves to laugh and imbibe looking for unconventional cocktail at new hotspot of chef Alex Gurevich, also of Café Bisque. Turn-ons: big glass containers filled with rum and vodka infused with ginger, coconut, honey and citrus. My perfect first rendezvous would include delectable drinks…

Olive Garden Italian Restaurant

Suburban life is tough these days. Although we were hooligans growing up, the only things that could get us in trouble hadn’t changed much since our parents were young. So the run-ins with booze, sex, dangerous/moronic driving, gateway drugs, mild vandalism (no mailbox within a ten-mile radius of our neighborhood…

Scorpion Bowl

Party like my grandma! When I asked my mother if she wanted to try Steuben’s, she wondered aloud, “Why does that name sound so familiar to me?” And when we walked into this new restaurant on 17th Avenue, it came to her: When my mom was a little girl growing…

Wahoo’s Fish Taco

The Food and Drug Administration should start requiring warning labels, or at least ingredient lists, on all margaritas. This would undoubtedly decrease work days lost, liver-transplant rates for those of us not lucky enough to be upstanding Americans like David Crosby or Larry Hagman, and the volume of next-day bleating…

Cherry Squirt Martini

I’ll have the bread pudding — hold the bread. A male friend of mine recently told me that, knowing what he knows about men, he’d eat only two Ritz crackers a day if he were a woman. During lunch at Bambino’s with a girlfriend, we took his misogynistic advice to…

Tavern Downtown

We were ready for some simple fun after a month of international rivalries during which we’d suffered through: more than 1.2 trillion scoreless minutes; 6,752 totally wrong goalie guesses on penalty kicks; 800,967 unnecessary instances of a goalie leaving his feet for an easy save or an obvious wide shot;…

Sloth

I’m well aware of the seven deadly sins, and while exploring Slim Seven, I saw them all. Pride: The lack of signage for the new bar seems to indicate a certain amount of self-importance, which I love. In fact, finding Slim Seven is part of its charm, since the entrance…

Angelo’s Pizza Parlor

I’m more than a little surprised that we made it to the movies the other night. Typically, when we plan an Institute Movie Night, we are no more likely to actually reach the theater than the space shuttle is to launch on time. One reason for this is our strong…

Le Citadelle Martini

In the summer, sitting on a patio drinking a martini is the adult equivalent of going to the pool as a kid. The first sip always gives me the same delicious feeling I had as a child when the lifeguard screamed, “Adult swim is over! Kids can re-enter the pool!”…