The next round of Nobel Peace Prizes may finally be money for the Institute of Drinking Studies. Nearly every Saturday and Sunday morning, we find ourselves wishing to hasten the end of the world — which obviously is nigh, if you read those Left Behind novels or live in northern…
When was the last time you had one of those days that made you wish you’d never been born? You know the kind of day I’m talking about. You get up early because you can’t be late for work. Despite waking up with a crick in your neck so bad…
Every time I walk into Cuba Cuba, I can’t help but think of Matthew McConaughey. Naked. While I realize the Failure to Launch star’s nude bongo incident was back in 1999, I know he would love the bongo tables in the tiny bar at Cuba Cuba. Actually, I’m pretty sure…
When a guy wants to enjoy a productive relationship with a woman (meaning sex with some regularity), he sometimes has to do things he normally wouldn’t do. Things like going to a shopping mall for a non-specific purpose, or watching a Lifetime movie that leaves you feeling like you need…
When most people hear the start of “We Three Kings,” they think of those Oriental kings bearing gifts from afar. Until recently, when I thought of three kings, they were Elvis, Martin Luther and Burger. But after a visit to 3 Kings Tavern, I now know they’re co-owners Jim Norris,…
Although I hate mass-market American “beer” — aka the root of all evil — there are times when drinking anything else would be wrong. And camping accounts for five of the top ten times when it’s absolutely correct to drink this swill. The first time is guy camping, when you…
Progress is not always a good thing. I liked it better when draft beer only came from a keg, not a bottle or can. I remember when telephones were heavy, two-piece objects that could inflict severe closed-head injuries, not miniature electronic earpieces that people apparently think make them look cool…
Welcome to www.matchmycocktail.com. Uncommitted drinker who loves to laugh and imbibe looking for unconventional cocktail at new hotspot of chef Alex Gurevich, also of Café Bisque. Turn-ons: big glass containers filled with rum and vodka infused with ginger, coconut, honey and citrus. My perfect first rendezvous would include delectable drinks…
Suburban life is tough these days. Although we were hooligans growing up, the only things that could get us in trouble hadn’t changed much since our parents were young. So the run-ins with booze, sex, dangerous/moronic driving, gateway drugs, mild vandalism (no mailbox within a ten-mile radius of our neighborhood…
Party like my grandma! When I asked my mother if she wanted to try Steuben’s, she wondered aloud, “Why does that name sound so familiar to me?” And when we walked into this new restaurant on 17th Avenue, it came to her: When my mom was a little girl growing…
The Food and Drug Administration should start requiring warning labels, or at least ingredient lists, on all margaritas. This would undoubtedly decrease work days lost, liver-transplant rates for those of us not lucky enough to be upstanding Americans like David Crosby or Larry Hagman, and the volume of next-day bleating…
I’ll have the bread pudding — hold the bread. A male friend of mine recently told me that, knowing what he knows about men, he’d eat only two Ritz crackers a day if he were a woman. During lunch at Bambino’s with a girlfriend, we took his misogynistic advice to…
We were ready for some simple fun after a month of international rivalries during which we’d suffered through: more than 1.2 trillion scoreless minutes; 6,752 totally wrong goalie guesses on penalty kicks; 800,967 unnecessary instances of a goalie leaving his feet for an easy save or an obvious wide shot;…
I’m well aware of the seven deadly sins, and while exploring Slim Seven, I saw them all. Pride: The lack of signage for the new bar seems to indicate a certain amount of self-importance, which I love. In fact, finding Slim Seven is part of its charm, since the entrance…
I’m more than a little surprised that we made it to the movies the other night. Typically, when we plan an Institute Movie Night, we are no more likely to actually reach the theater than the space shuttle is to launch on time. One reason for this is our strong…
In the summer, sitting on a patio drinking a martini is the adult equivalent of going to the pool as a kid. The first sip always gives me the same delicious feeling I had as a child when the lifeguard screamed, “Adult swim is over! Kids can re-enter the pool!”…
Those of you at the Thin Man (2015 East 17th Avenue) two Fridays ago had no idea you were witnessing a momentous emergency session of the Institute of Drinking Studies. The scene harked back to Cold War Europe, where plans and plots were made in back hallways — which is…
The Rooftop Lounge at Tamayo is one of the most pleasant places in town to grab a cocktail — both for the view and for the margaritas. When I took my first sip of the peculiar yet tasty China Poblana ($10), made with Jose Cuervo Tradicional, fresh tangerine juice and…
I am happy to announce that a new bar, The Tavern Lowry (7401 East First Avenue), has broken the record for the largest-ever Institute of Drinking Studies bar tab — and this despite the conspicuous absence of a few members. The Tavern had been open only a few days when…
Behind the velvet ropes: When I lived in New York, I loved making up stories that would get me past the bouncer at a crowded bar. In a city full of professional doormen, I quickly learned that “My friend is inside and has my keys” only worked if they were…
I do a lot of ragging on Texas, especially this time of year, when temperatures there range between the levels of Saudi Arabia, Hell (not that those places are dissimilar) and 576 Kelvin. Saudi Arabia and Hell are actually a lot nicer than Texas, since they have what’s called a…
When I booked our wedding festivities in Beaver Creek, I had thought it was the setting for one of the greatest movies of all time, Dumb and Dumber. The morning of our departure, I tore open the Netflix envelope holding said movie, popped it in the DVD player and fast-forwarded…
