We miss you already, Douglas Bruce

His bark was worse than his bite. Really. The August 12 primary election results don’t overflow with surprises. The electorate proved again that name recognition is the most important factor when turnout is low. Hence the victories of Mike Coffman, well known as Colorado’s secretary of state, and former Westword…

Keith Olbermann slaps Rocky Mountain News for Obama-Kenya Gaffe

The turban doesn’t prove Kenyan citizenship, either. Thank goodness Countdown With Keith Olbermann’s nightly “Worst Person in the World” feature is flexible, or else the man with his name in the program’s title wouldn’t have been able to award the August 12 bronze to our own Rocky Mountain News. The…

Do no-obligation Obama tickets have strings attached?

Volunteers wanted. I was waiting by my phone for the call or text that was supposed to be coming from the Obama campaign today, letting me know if I’d be given a ticket to the acceptance speech at Invesco on August 28. Instead, I received an e-mail from a friend…

Barack Obama Gets His Derek Zoolander On

“I’m pretty sure there’s a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking.” Wait a second. Is that Barack Obama striking the famous “Blue Steel” pose perfected by Derek Zoolander? Pretty damn close — and it’s all thanks to the artistry of one Ron Keas, who’s whipped…

Yippies Attack Pepsi Center with Peace Bats

Actually, there were only four Yippies — one for every two journalists desperately trying to fill their DNC quota. The sixty or so younger activists who had also attended the “consulta” gathering of DNC protest groups at the Tivoli center earlier on Sunday wanted nothing to do with the Yippie…

Recreate ’08: Snowballs!

Is it the Denver Public Library or the Way-Bac Machine? A couple of blocks from the downtown Denver Public Library, they’re already shutting down and removing the mailboxes outside of the 14th Avenue post office because of “security concerns” during the upcoming DNC. They’re putting special locks on fire hydrants,…

At the Pepsi Center: Tents and Unions

Here’s where the DNC media will be camping. With the opening of the Democratic National Convention exactly two weeks away, national media organizations have begun to move into the giant white tents that surround the Pepsi Center. As you can see, there’s much work to be done, and the matter…

Ah! SkyNet’s Taking over Denver! Oh, It’s Just a Movie Screen

Today, just in time for the DNC, civic boosters plan to turn on SkyNet. Don’t worry, you can keep your end-of-the-world weapons stockpile locked away; we’re not talking about Skynet the scary computer-based defense system that takes over earth and spews out Arnold Schwarzenegger robots in the Terminator movies. We’re…

Delegating Denver #56 of #56: Wyoming

View larger image Wyoming Total Number of Delegates: 18 Pledged: 12 Unpledged: 6 How to Recognize a Wyoming Delegate: The majority of Wyomingites are uneducated, foul-mouthed cretins who look like toothless meth addicts out on parole. But those are just the Republicans who hate to pay taxes and abide by…

Ralph Nader Pitches His Tent on Block 162

Newly spiffy Block 162, formerly one of the worst blocks in Denver, will be strutting its stuff during the convention. On the 16th Street Mall side of the block, the oft-maligned Fontius Building, now officially the Sage Building (named after future tenant Sage Hospitality), is now scaffolding-free, its historic renovation…

Vote for Honest ‘Arack!

The new issue of Newspeak, Colorado Springs’ alt-alt-publication, hits the stands today with a great Obamaham Lincoln painting by Ron English on the cover. Nice. –Jared Jacang Maher…

How to Score a Seat to Obama’s Invesco Speech

According to the DNC, half of the 60,000-plus seats available for Barack Obama’s DNC acceptance speech at Invesco Field at Mile High will go to Coloradans. Those hoping to attend need to fill out an application here. Officials say it’s first come, first served, but we all know they’ll be…

Some Texans Still Want Hillary

The Divine Ms. C campaigning in the Lone Star state. In an August 7 web chat covered by the Rocky Mountain News, Hillary Clinton emphasized that she’ll come to Denver to praise Barack Obama, not to bury him. But conflicting signals continue to beam forth from her supporters — not…

McCain and Udall, Sitting in a Tree

Mo Udall, mo problems. Our sister paper in Phoenix carries a lengthy cover story this week about the Arizona legacy of John McCain, who allegedly is some sort of presidential candidate (although I haven’t seen him on the cover of any magazines. Weird.) The story — “Postmodern John McCain: the…

DNC Protesters Tent State Plan Pepsi Center Sleepover

Who wants some s’mores? When Judge Marcia Krieger ruled yesterday that the city’s plans for protesters are A-okay, convention planners no doubt breathed a huge sigh of relief that they wouldn’t have to dismantle the massive media tent they’ve erected between the demonstration zone and the Pepsi Center. But the…

Frances and Monica Owens on Cindy McCain: She’s Nifty

Cindy McCain in a photo that begs for a cougar joke I’m way too classy to make. The August 6 Denver Post brings us “Cindy McCain is Perfect for First Lady,” in which Frances Owens, Colorado’s former first lady, and her daughter Monica spend 337 words to say, in essence,…

Brett Favre’s Trade Means One Less Circus in Town, Damn It

Guess who. Green Bay Packers quarterback Brett Favre’s trade to the New York Jets late on August 6, about which you may have heard, has negative repercussions on the preseason schedule of your Denver Broncos. The Pack is slated to face off against the Broncos on August 22, and had…

More Hot, Steaming Doo Doo Accord Coverage!

Discussion of The Denver Doo Doo Accord is burning up the web-o-sphere! Read about it at Michelle Malkin’s blog, the Denver Post, 5280 Magazine’s blog, the Slapstick Politics blog, and, of course, The Drunkablog. Also, The Rocky Mountain News’ story about the accord that was placed on the paper’s site…

Pics from Inside the Pepsi Center

Help! Let us out! It’s so wonky in here we can hardly breathe! The above photo was taken Monday inside the Pepsi Center, during the media walk through. More after the jump. — Jared Jacang Maher…