View larger image Iowa Total Number of Delegates: 56 Pledged: 45 Unpledged: 11 How to Recognize an Iowa Delegate: Iowa is the smartest state in the union, topping the annual list for national ACT and SAT scores. That’s only fitting, since the national ACT offices are in Iowa City, and…
View larger image Indiana Total Number of Delegates: 79 Pledged: 66 Unpledged: 13 How to Recognize an Indiana Delegate: The origin of the term “Hoosiers” is uncertain. Many of the definitions for the term are synonymous with “simpleton.” But Indianans are anything but simple; in fact, to most Americans, Hoosiers…
A few years ago, our hearty band of pranksters devised the Bad Colorado Souvenir Mall Crawl Challenge, a one-hour contest to find the very worst souvenir available on the 16th Street Mall. But it was no challenge at all. Once a bastion of great shopping – with real department stores…
We need help with a caption for this photo of Howard Dean at today’s media walk-through of the Pepsi Center in Denver for the upcoming Democratic National Convention. In the comments section below, post your suggestion for the most apt caption…
To paraphrase Dick Cheney, Representative Tom Tancredo’s quizzical presidential campaign is in its last throes. But it’s going out with a bang — literally — with a commercial running in Iowa that makes Lyndon Johnson’s infamous 1964 mushroom-cloud spot look subtle. The ad, which you can view below, begins with…
Hundreds of journalists are in town for a Democratic National Convention briefing at the Pepsi Center today, a taste of the thousands who will descend on this city next August. Last night, the journalists got their own taste of Denver at a reception at the Wynkoop Brewing Company, the town’s…
View larger image Illinois Total Number of Delegates: 185 Pledged: 153 Unpledged: 32 How to Recognize an Illinois Delegate: Since October 12, 2007, Illinois state law requires all children to observe a moment of silence at the start of every school day. This is not some wishy-washy compromise cooked up…
While Coloradans raised their glasses last September in a coordinated toast to British beer expert and frequent Colorado visitor Michael Jackson, who died on August 30 at the age of 65, they will lower their glasses today to salute Earl Dodge, the six-time Prohibition Party presidential candidate and longtime Denver…
View larger image. Idaho Total Number of Delegates: 23 Pledged: 18 Unpledged: 5 How to Recognize an Idaho Delegate: Strangeness happens all over the world, but it seems to concentrate in Idaho. Just google the phrase “strange + Idaho” and prepare to get busy reading stories about straight senators seeking…
View larger image. Hawaii Total Number of Delegates: 29 Pledged: 20 Unpledged: 9 How to Recognize a Hawaii Delegate: Hawaii has always been considered a paradise on Earth. Not only for its stunningly beautiful landscape, but also for the hospitality of the state’s residents. The descendants of the early Hawaiians,…
In their Crocktober explanation of the World Series ticket nightmare, the new Colorado Rockies – or at least their managers – sounded a lot like the old Colorado Rockies, bumbling through the suggestion that the mess was created by “an external and malicious attack.” We haven’t heard such a crock…
View larger image Guam Total Number of Delegates: 9 Pledged: 4 Unpledged: 5 How to Recognize a Guam Delegate: Guamanians are gorgeous. Their exotic mix of Malay, Chamorro, Filipino, Spanish, Asian, and American ancestry has produced people who are extremely easy on the eyes. Although the Pacific island is a…
View larger image Georgia Total Number of Delegates: 104 Pledged: 87 Unpledged: 17 How to Recognize a Georgia Delegate: Everyone hates Georgia, and they always have. That’s why Gone With the Wind has been America’s all-time favorite movie. It tells the story of General Sherman’s attempt to burn the state…
View larger image Florida Total Number of Delegates: 210* Pledged: 185* Unpledged: 25 *The Democratic National Committee has threatened to reduce these numbers by half if the Florida Democratic Party does not move its caucus date from January 29, 2008, to February 5, 2008, or later. How to Recognize a…
View larger image District of Columbia Total Number of Delegates: 37 Pledged: 15 Unpledged: 22 How to Recognize a District of Columbia Delegate: Harry Truman said that if you want a friend in Washington, D.C., get a dog. John F. Kennedy said that D.C. is a town of southern efficiency…
Although Florida’s movers-and-shakers may not pay much attention to Tom Tancredo, he definitely has his supporters. Laura Leighton of Tucson, for example, who over the weekend sent Westword a spirited, if out-of-right-field, defense of the Colorado congressman, repeated verbatim below: You’ve got your traitors wrong! Traitors are the people who…
Tom Tancredo will never be president. Shocking, I know, given his spot in the back of the pack of Republican candidates.But in Denver, where the sixth congressional district representative can grab a headline faster than he’d nuke Mecca, we have an outsized view of the impact that Tancredo has had…
View larger image. Democrats Abroad Total Number of Delegates: 11 Pledged: 7 Unpledged: 4 How to Recognize a Democrats Abroad Delegate: Dems Abroad are the luckiest of all the delegates. They draw their ranks from Peace Corps volunteers, embassy personnel, artists and glamorous Hollywood movie stars. They are the American…
Anti-abortion protesters rallied outside the Pepsi Center yesterday, giving Denver just a taste of what’s going to hit this town next August, when the Democratic National Convention convenes here. The city got another preview earlier this month, when CEDIA (Custom Electronic Design & Installation Association) filled the Colorado Convention Center…
View larger image Delaware Total Number of Delegates: 23 Pledged: 15 Unpledged: 8 How to Recognize a Delaware Delegate: The Quakers who ruled Pennsylvania originally wanted to annex Delaware to expand Philadelphia’s southern suburbs, but the Catholics in Maryland refused to let them. While these two states bickered, the Methodists…
View larger image. Connecticut Total Number of Delegates: 61 Pledged: 48 Unpledged: 13 How to Recognize a Connecticut Delegate: Prepare to be astonished. Despite the gender-specific clothing worn by delegates from Connecticut, their facial and physical features are absolutely gender-neutral. Connecticut men look just like Connecticut women, and vice versa!…
View larger image. Colorado Total Number of Delegates: 71 Pledged: 55 Unpledged: 16 How to Recognize a Colorado Delegate: Colorado delegates are hard to see, especially if they’re standing behind a streetlight or a trash can, because Colorado residents tend to be thinner than the average American. Most will boast…
