View larger image Louisiana Total Number of Delegates: 67 Pledged: 56 Unpledged: 11 How to Recognize a Louisiana Delegate: The surface of Louisiana may properly be divided into two parts: the swamplands, and the quagmires, which include the townships and parishes built on the bribes and embezzlements of organized political…
View larger image Kentucky Total Number of Delegates: 59 Pledged: 50 Unpledged: 9 How to Recognize a Kentucky Delegate: Kentuckians insist that they live in the south, even though the majority of the state’s population lives along the northern border, mainly in Louisville and the suburbs of the solidly Midwestern…
In National Public Radio’s December 10 story about the previous night’s debate, a Republican presidential candidate forum in Miami sponsored by Univision, Tom Tancredo was mentioned first. How did the double T pull off this long-awaited coup? By not showing up — ostensibly because appearing at such a “Spanish-speaking” event…
Today the United States District Court for the Northern District of Florida in Tallahassee upheld the Democratic Party’s right to enforce its primary rules — and spanked the Florida delegation for pushing up its state vote to early January “We’re pleased the court ruled in our favor, recognizing the constitutionally…
Tom Tancredo will unveil a new commercial in Iowa this afternoon, a month out from the vote there. His last ad tossed a bomb into the campaign, but the shockwaves didn’t raise Tancredo above the bottom of the pack. Still, his quixotic presidential run has had its effect: The first…
View larger image Kansas Total Number of Delegates: 41 Pledged: 33 Unpledged: 8 How to Recognize a Kansas Delegate: Claim jumpers from Leavenworth, Kansas, laid out their town on theSouth Platte River and named it after Governor James W. Denver, inthe hopes that he would make Denver City the county…
In Minneapolis, the RNC Welcoming Committee – the protest-planning counterpart to Denver’s DNC-dissing Recreate 68 – recently released this hilarious, self-spoofy recruitment video as part of its efforts to draw comrades to the Twin Cities to screw with the Republicans next September. Nationally, an umbrella group to these umbrella groups,…
Diana DeGette has laid claim to the unusual distinction of hosting a Democratic National Convention physically located entirely in a single congressional district: Hers. In the past, conventions have overlapped multiple districts, the congresswoman said Wednesday during a roundtable discussion. The 2008 convention, which takes place next August in Denver,…
View larger image Iowa Total Number of Delegates: 56 Pledged: 45 Unpledged: 11 How to Recognize an Iowa Delegate: Iowa is the smartest state in the union, topping the annual list for national ACT and SAT scores. That’s only fitting, since the national ACT offices are in Iowa City, and…
View larger image Indiana Total Number of Delegates: 79 Pledged: 66 Unpledged: 13 How to Recognize an Indiana Delegate: The origin of the term “Hoosiers” is uncertain. Many of the definitions for the term are synonymous with “simpleton.” But Indianans are anything but simple; in fact, to most Americans, Hoosiers…
A few years ago, our hearty band of pranksters devised the Bad Colorado Souvenir Mall Crawl Challenge, a one-hour contest to find the very worst souvenir available on the 16th Street Mall. But it was no challenge at all. Once a bastion of great shopping – with real department stores…
We need help with a caption for this photo of Howard Dean at today’s media walk-through of the Pepsi Center in Denver for the upcoming Democratic National Convention. In the comments section below, post your suggestion for the most apt caption…
To paraphrase Dick Cheney, Representative Tom Tancredo’s quizzical presidential campaign is in its last throes. But it’s going out with a bang — literally — with a commercial running in Iowa that makes Lyndon Johnson’s infamous 1964 mushroom-cloud spot look subtle. The ad, which you can view below, begins with…
Hundreds of journalists are in town for a Democratic National Convention briefing at the Pepsi Center today, a taste of the thousands who will descend on this city next August. Last night, the journalists got their own taste of Denver at a reception at the Wynkoop Brewing Company, the town’s…
View larger image Illinois Total Number of Delegates: 185 Pledged: 153 Unpledged: 32 How to Recognize an Illinois Delegate: Since October 12, 2007, Illinois state law requires all children to observe a moment of silence at the start of every school day. This is not some wishy-washy compromise cooked up…
While Coloradans raised their glasses last September in a coordinated toast to British beer expert and frequent Colorado visitor Michael Jackson, who died on August 30 at the age of 65, they will lower their glasses today to salute Earl Dodge, the six-time Prohibition Party presidential candidate and longtime Denver…
View larger image. Idaho Total Number of Delegates: 23 Pledged: 18 Unpledged: 5 How to Recognize an Idaho Delegate: Strangeness happens all over the world, but it seems to concentrate in Idaho. Just google the phrase “strange + Idaho” and prepare to get busy reading stories about straight senators seeking…
View larger image. Hawaii Total Number of Delegates: 29 Pledged: 20 Unpledged: 9 How to Recognize a Hawaii Delegate: Hawaii has always been considered a paradise on Earth. Not only for its stunningly beautiful landscape, but also for the hospitality of the state’s residents. The descendants of the early Hawaiians,…
In their Crocktober explanation of the World Series ticket nightmare, the new Colorado Rockies – or at least their managers – sounded a lot like the old Colorado Rockies, bumbling through the suggestion that the mess was created by “an external and malicious attack.” We haven’t heard such a crock…
View larger image Guam Total Number of Delegates: 9 Pledged: 4 Unpledged: 5 How to Recognize a Guam Delegate: Guamanians are gorgeous. Their exotic mix of Malay, Chamorro, Filipino, Spanish, Asian, and American ancestry has produced people who are extremely easy on the eyes. Although the Pacific island is a…
View larger image Georgia Total Number of Delegates: 104 Pledged: 87 Unpledged: 17 How to Recognize a Georgia Delegate: Everyone hates Georgia, and they always have. That’s why Gone With the Wind has been America’s all-time favorite movie. It tells the story of General Sherman’s attempt to burn the state…
View larger image Florida Total Number of Delegates: 210* Pledged: 185* Unpledged: 25 *The Democratic National Committee has threatened to reduce these numbers by half if the Florida Democratic Party does not move its caucus date from January 29, 2008, to February 5, 2008, or later. How to Recognize a…
