This is not only something I can do as a United States citizen, this is something I believe I must do,” Steve Horner told Judge Brian Campbell. “This is Rosa Parksish. This is Martin Luther Kingish.” This is ludicrousish. On its surface, the concept of ladies’ nights might seem unfair…
Dear Mexican: I’ve run into a problem with my wife. I’d like to proudly display our last name on the back window of the family car, but she won’t allow it. Where did this name-display tradition start? Tejano Rick Dear Wab: A Mexican man who allows his mujer a say…
Logging onto my computer, it almost hurt to type my password. For now, it is the name of a small town fifteen miles away from the Montana cabin where my family has spent every summer since 1970. The experts tell you not to choose a password that people might be…
Steve Horner will have his day in court today, when his complaint filed against Westword for advertising ladies’ night deals goes before Judge Brian Campbell. The action is in Denver County Court,(courtroom 4 in the Adams Mark annex off Cleveland Place) but Horner has been all over the media –…
Dear Mexican: Why do Mexicans say “¡Ojalá Dios quiere!”? Ojalá refers to Allah, the Muslim god, and Dios is the Christian god. Do Mexicans want to cover their bases and get a double blessing, or maybe they can’t they make up their minds? ¿Qué pasó con los dos dioses? White…
Yes, on the DIA train that’s now the voice of Denver mayor John Hickenlooper welcoming you to Denver. Pete Smythe and Reynelda Muse have also left the station, replaced by Alan Roach and Adele Arakawa. And sound artist Jim Green, who installed the original recordings fifteen years ago, didn’t stop…
Big Beef. Tiny Tim. First Lady. Early Girl. Better Boy. Kenny Vetting laughs at the notion of “heirloom” tomatoes that are only fifty years old. But then, the seed business that his grandfather started is 87 years young. And sometime in early August, the Rocky Mountain Seed Company will finally…
Dear Readers: You love us, you really love us! Mere moments after publishing my July 12 column (in which a couple of Know Nothings had their say on the failed Senate amnesty bill), ustedes bombarded the Mexican with letters expressing your disgust toward those pendejos. Space prohibits printing them all,…
The Micky Manor is back. That’s Micky, without an “e.” In 1932, when the old firehouse first became an eatery, Walt Disney didn’t look too favorably on a joint being named after his star cartoon character. But dropping a letter seemed to do the trademark-respecting trick, and no one ever…
Dear Mexican: Why don’t Mexicans ever drop their Spanish? Even third- and fourth-generation Mexican-Americans still speak the language to some degree or other. I speak Japanese, but I’m losing it quickly, and when my mother passes on, so will my language. The typical Asian-American kid may attend Chinese, Korean or…
Dear Mexican: Colorado boasts a large Mexican population and ski industry, yet so few Mexicans ski. Please explain. Vail Vato Dear Gabacho: Why should we? So ustedes can call us frostbacks? Dear Mexican: Okay, so there’s a shitload of you wabs in Denver now. And, yes, I know Colorado means…
Is that glass half-empty or half-full? Just in time for the next First Friday — the gaggle of gallery openings around town tomorrow, July 6 — Colorado Lawyers for the Arts has posted a summary of liquor laws compiled by the Denver Department of Excise and Licenses and the Office…
Dear Mexican: I welcome the inclusion of a nice big scoop of chopped habañeros in the bland casserole that is America. I must admit, however, that it gave me pause the other day when I saw an all-too-typical familia of recent arrivals at Kmart: mom, pop and four kids less…
After years of being studiously – insultingly – ignored, I was finally called up for jury duty in Denver District Court a few years ago. I was eager to do my civic duty, particularly since the courtroom where I was sent along with dozens of other potential jurors was set…
Mayor John Hickenlooper has found a replacement for Stephanie O’Malley, the former director of the Denver Department of Excise and Licenses who now has her hands full as the newly elected Clerk & Recorder. Yesterday Awilda R. Marquez was named to head the department – and she’s going to have…
I’m beginning to feel like Carrie Nation, that busybody Prohibitionist who came from Kansas to Denver “because it was the nearest big city,” surmises local historian Tom Noel, “and it was filled with vice.” And not only did Carrie swing her hatchet at liquor bottles in local saloons, but she’d…
Dear Mexican: A friend once asked me for a Spanish word or phrase that contains fewer syllables than its English counterpart. After years of thinking about this, the only one I could come up with was “Tengo sed” (three syllables), compared to “I am thirsty” (four syllables). This could be…
Steve Horner did not attend the monthly meeting of the Colorado Civil Rights Commission on Monday. I knew this without even talking to Horner, because the meeting actually concluded — and if he’d been there, the seven appointed commissioners would still be stuck in their conference room, listening to Horner…
Dear Readers: Contrary to what some of ustedes think, racist gabachos and self-hating Mexicans aren’t my only fans. Many of our friendly neighbors to the Great White Norte also love me. In honor of my home town Anaheim Ducks pounding on pussy Canadians to win the Stanley Cup, I dedicate…
Mike Jones’s fifteen minutes of fame just got extended. He knows all about billing by the hour. In the days before last fall’s election, the male escort’s revelation that Ted Haggard had been a longtime client exploded in Colorado, and the fallout spread across the country. On November 1, Jones…
Dear Mexican: Often when we see Mexican bands perform, the crowd starts chanting “¡Cu-le-ro!” Why does the crowd yell “asshole” at a band they seemingly adore and pay a lot of money to see? Need Más Earplugs Dear Wab: ¡Culero! is the Bronx cheer of Mexican society. We use it…
By the time I squeezed through the closing doors, I was ready to punch the walls if I heard that same bossy voice telling me that I was “delaying the departure of this train.” I was delaying the departure?…
