WIN SOME, LOSE SOME

In Quebec, home of our soon-to-be NHL team, the soon-to-be-renamed Nordiques, it’s considered bad taste to call someone a “pepsi.” In Denver, it’s only considered bad taste to be caught cutting deals for Pepsi. But even before the clock struck 12 at the very end of May 8, the legislature’s…

GIVE ME A BREAK

From the halls of Montezuma County, the outraged cries carried all the way to Denver: Six years of hard work, soon to be undone by one stroke of Governor Roy Romer’s pen. For over half a decade, Montezuma County had fought–three times all the way up to the Colorado Supreme…

LAY OF THE LAND

At daybreak on the Comanche National Grassland, the air is so sweet and the endless, empty vistas so breathtaking that it is impossible to imagine anyone going out of his way to screw this world up. This rough, beautiful country was the backdrop when Wes McKinley left his ranch in…

FOR YOUR AMUSEMENT

Oh, grow up. Last week New York Times architecture critic Herbert Muschamp hailed Denver as a new playground for adults, “a consumer product, recast as an escape from grown-up care,” its skyline a “sudden outburst of innocence.” Make that “gullibility.” Because we’re certainly paying to play. On Monday the Colorado…

INDECENT EXPOSURE

Denver is becoming a very cheap date. This city rolls over for anyone who shows the slightest interest in scratching its economically soft underbelly. And the result, seen in the light of day, is rarely pretty. Witness the Platte Valley: The confluence of two rivers that gave birth to Denver…

COURT TIME

Martin Scheriff did not need to introduce himself to the judge. By now, Denver District Court Judge Edward Simons knows Scheriff all too well. So do several other judges through whose courtrooms his case has passed. Over the past year and a half, Scheriff has become a familiar figure in…

EVERY DOG HAS HIS DAY

By last week, Denver’s four mayoral candidates could finish each other’s sentences. This wasn’t because they were in such great accord–far from it, in fact: Consensus is not a word you’d use in connection with this campaign. Crotchety, maybe, even cantankerous on a particularly good day when the venomous juices…

THE PARENT TRAP

Before Theresa Andress took her job with the Planned Parenthood clinic in La Junta, she managed a convenience store. “At the Loaf `n’ Jug, there was this kid, about sixteen, so sweet, always coming in to my store,” she recalled. “A few weeks after I came over here, he came…

COACH TURNS INTO PUMPKINHEAD

“I know how Jesus felt,” said David VanderMolen. “This was a witch hunt.” But no witch ever cast a spell as successfully as VanderMolen, the longtime Longmont High School wrestling coach and physical education teacher as well as Amway salesman and PromiseKeeper. Early last month, while VanderMolen compared himself to…

Calhoun

Beneath his judicial robes Andrew Armatas has been stripped bare, right down to the 35 shirts (dress and casual), 8 pairs of slacks, “misc. socks, undergarments, etc.” and single tuxedo he lists among his worldly possessions. Augmenting these is $50 in cash, nothing in the bank and an inventory of…

DENVER CARRIES ON

There. That wasn’t so bad, was it? Denver International Airport actually opened Tuesday, on its fifth debut date, after such a drawn-out, stop-and-start ordeal that everyone had almost forgotten that’s what DIA was supposed to do: open. A city does not build a $5 billion airport merely to create jobs,…

BLANK CHECK

At the moment, Westword may be responsible for the only positive revenue stream at Denver’s $5 billion new airport. That’s because we pay the city’s Airport Revenue Fund $1.25 for each piece of paper we are allowed to see regarding the fees paid to private legal firms retained by the…

BLANK YOU VERY MUCH

Ironically, it took a legal threat to convince Denver city attorney Dan Muse to release the legal bills of Debevoise & Plimpton, the high-priced spread that’s rung up a $1 million tab representing Denver’s interests against the Securities and Exchange Commission’s “informal inquiry” into DIA bond sales. If an “informal”…

OPEN WIDE

This won’t hurt a bit. You’ve already suffered the injury, although you may not know that yet. Because by the end of January, the City of Denver had racked up $15 million in bills from all the outside attorneys it had hired over the past three and a half years…

ANOTHER SLUM DUNK FROM DOUG BRUCE

Douglas Bruce, victim. Let it roll over the tongue a few times. Let it vibrate in the most sensitive part of the brain, the one usually reserved for trampled flowers and kicked puppies. Hold that thought. Douglas Bruce says he’s a victim. He claims that he’s the focus of a…

IS NOTHING SACRED?

Since Bill McCartney announced on November 19 that he was resigning as coach of the University of Colorado football team, we’ve been subjected to an endless stream of the gospel according to Coach Mac, recounted by a number of media disciples. We’ve heard that he didn’t intend to steal Rashaan…

THE MIND IS REELING

There Newt Gingrich sat, innocent as a choirboy who’s just ditched a cancer-ridden first wife, meeting the press. If truth is stranger than fiction, it doesn’t get much stranger than this. The Washington pundits were asking Gingrich, the next Speaker of the House, about Hillary Clinton’s derisive denunciation of his…

THE POWER OF BABBLE

At five o’clock last Tuesday morning, Michael Reagan’s voice came in loud and clear–even if his message was a mess. Reagan has parlayed his position as son–albeit estranged, adopted son–of the former president into a slot as a conservative talk-radio host; his show airs twice daily in Denver on KTLK-AM…

BENSON’S BULLY PULPIT

The press won’t have Bruce Benson to kick around anymore. But he sure gave journalists something to remember him by. The Republican gubernatorial candidate waited until almost ten o’clock last Tuesday night to concede that he’d lost the election. Lost despite the fact that as late as September, polls actually…

THE NOVEMBER NUMBERS GAME

Has a Colorado campaign season ever been less inspired? Less inspirational? After being fed a daily diet of Benson divorce drivel and troopersuperduper details, it’s hard not to have fantasies of being chased out of state by a mysterious red Chevy until sometime after November 8. That failing, however, here’s…

PRESERVED FOR POSTERIORITY

Bruce Benson turned his back on the governor’s race last week. In one of the most stunning about-faces in Colorado campaign history, the Republican gubernatorial candidate turned the other cheek–literally–for a television ad that shows him strolling away from the camera through the scenic shrubbery while he confesses, again, to…

WHO’S SORRY NOW?

Vance Johnson says he’s sorry. Sorry for the tantrums, the violence, the abusive behavior. So sorry, in fact, that the back cover of his recent vanity–and I do mean vanity–book, The Vance: The Beginning & The End, includes a large, generic “I’m Sorry!” And you will be, too, if you…