Dear Mexican: During the late 1960s, I worked a summer job in southern Arizona, where most of my co-workers were Mexicans from the state of Sonora. Their favorite expression when something was broken was no vale verga, literally “not worth dick,” but actually meaning “totally fucked up.” What happened with…
Dear Mexican: I work at a high school where there are a significant number of students without papers. Two students I’d worked with for four years (one from Mexico, the other from Paraguay) graduated last June, and they are now attending community college. They have both read your books. My…
Dear Mexican: I have a sister. I read your column each time it comes out in the Tucson Weekly. Once, we were talking about all the hatred against Mexicans in our state, and my sister said, “Sis, why do they hate Mexicans so much in Arizona? Why do they hate…
Dear Readers: Over the past couple of weeks, the Know Nothing nation has invaded my in-box, asking why the United States can’t follow the stringent immigration laws of Mexico. They’re merely parroting a recent column by the reprehensible Michelle Malkin, who thought that bringing up the issue was an original…
Dear Readers: I was supposed to deliver this column to ustedes for Cinco de Drinko, but then Arizona’s reprehensible SB1070 reared its ugly head. I could devote this column to that issue again, but Mexican-hating is a national sport, and we must darle chingazos wherever it pops out. Big shout-outs,…
Dear Readers: All together, now: ¡A LA CHINGADA WITH ARIZONA’S SB1070! For those of ustedes too occupied with your Drinko por Cinco hangover, the initiative I mentioned (signed a couple of weeks ago into law by Arizona’s governor) gives immigration powers to the state’s police officers and sheriff’s deputies and…
Dear Mexican: I live in a Northeastern city, and a game I play with myself during the cold, wintry months is counting how many Mexicans I see without a heavy coat or appropriate outer garment. Believe me, I’m not prejudiced (I, too, am a minority, and this game is lightweight…
Dear Mexican: I have a friend who frequently wears a T-shirt that boldly states in big, bad-ass, Old English letters, “Hecho en México.” Five facts follow: • He was born 23 years ago in the United States, in Bellflower, California • His truly Mexican parents were nowhere near Mexico when…
Dear Mexican: I’ve dated a few Mexican girls in the last couple of years, and I’ve come to realize one big, important thing: Most of the girls didn’t know how to cook, clean and, you know…bring that ol’-school Mexican flavor from the roots! What’s happening to all our true mexicanas?…
Dear Mexican: I know that Mexicans and pochos can be black, white, Asian and indios, but I just got my United States Census form. Figured you would be the best person to ask about question #9-Race. I know I’m not white (I’ve been pulled over too many times for BS…
Dear Mexican: I just read that Speedy Gonzales is getting his own feature film and will be voiced by George Lopez. I read in the Hollywood Reporter that Lopez said he gave Speedy his “Latino Seal of Approval.” Who grants this seal? What does it look like, and how did…
Dear Mexican: By now, I’m sure you’re aware of all the hate crimes against Hispanics in the last few years. By now, I’m sure you’re thinking that this is ¡Ask a Mexican!, not ¡Ask a Hispanic! But let me tell you that all the hate crimes against Hispanics have been…
Dear Mexican: When I was in high school, everyone called the Mexican students like myself “cheddars.” I’m not sure where this originated from, or what it really has to do with Mexican culture. When I have asked other Mexicans what this means, they weren’t sure, either. “Cheddar packing” is a…
Dear Mexican: I’m a pan blanco and my wife is puertorriqueña. Our son looks basically white, while a casual observer might admit that there is some Latin going on there. I’m not sure how this pertains to my question — it may or may not be worth mentioning. Our son…
Dear Mexican: I am a lifelong resident of Arizona and have worked side by side with illegals for 25 years as a bloquero. In all that time, I never knew one of them to be an aspiring American. In fact, their loyalties remain with their home states, they listen to…
Dear Mexican: People talk about the costs of illegal immigration on our society. What about the savings? Has there been any research into how much more a meal at a restaurant would cost without Mexicans cooking and washing dishes? What percentage increase would we see with supermarket produce if migrant…
Dear Mexican: I’ve always been attracted to transgendered women since I was about thirteen. I’ve noticed, however, that most trannies are Hispanic. Now, before you say that this is ¡Ask a Mexican!, not ¡Ask a Hispanic!, I’ve also noticed that more than half of all Hispanic transsexuals are Mexican. What’s…
Dear Mexican: How can a formerly proud Latina like myself feel proud to be Mexican again after my beloved relative was murdered in Mexico by narcos while visiting? I still have love for my heritage, and I understand that many Mexican people live in desperate situations because they have no…
Dear Mexican: Why do so many Mexicans work for Taco Bell and El Pollo Loco? Don’t they know they only add a false credence to the belief that this is Mexican cuisine? The bastardizing of the truly great and diverse food of Mexico by the money-hungry corporations of the U.S.,…
Dear Readers: Siempre, the wisest words that appear in this column come from ustedes, y the following two cartas prove this maxim. The first one addresses my year-end column, in which a working-class gabacho insisted his people apapachan a Mexicans mucho: Dear Mexican: Half-Mexican here. I was fortunate enough to…
Dear Mexican: I’m surprised by the choice of the word “amnesty” by those who would demonize immigration reform, especially in the South. Doesn’t the modern well-being of many Southerners derive in some way from their ancestors’ having sworn to amnesty oaths, both before and after the Civil War? Isn’t it…
Dear Readers: The Mexican is still trying to shake off the Herradura from the previous year, so this week I’m reprinting a favorite from el pasado. To make up for my siesta, though, I’m bringing back the YouTube edition of this column, where I’ll take the questions of the non-anonymous…
