Dear Mexican: Why do Mexicans paint stripes on their donkeys in Tijuana? Avenida Revolución Reveler Dear Gabacho: Same reason we put worms in tequila bottles, celebrate Cinco de Mayo and star in Beverly Hills Chihuahua: to cheat gabachos out of cash. To paraphrase the classic dictum: A gabacho and his…
Dear Mexican: I am the proud uncle of five Mexican-redneck kids who recently moved to Wisconsin with their mamá wisconsiana after living in la Capirucha all their lives. I’ve talked to them on the phone several times a week since they left for la tierra de los sueños materializados, and…
Dear Mexican: As a Mexican, I’m always ashamed of the fact that a lot of Mexican women just come to the United States to have babies and to utilize this country’s welfare. I know a lot of them who just keep having children, and they do not pay a dollar…
Dear Mexican: Where I recently started working, Latinos make up about 95 percent of the work force. We are, however, prohibited from speaking Spanish. Our supervisor tells us that if we can speak so much as one word of English, we cannot speak in Spanish. We are constantly being threatened…
Dear Mexican: What’s with calling yourselves “La Raza”? Being Mexicans, Chicanos or whatever isn’t enough — now you’re the race? Sounds pretty racist to me.The Race Is On Dear Gabacho: Few things annoy the Mexican more than the Know Nothing Nation’s deliberate ignorance of this most nebulous of Mexican idioms…
Dear Readers: Gracias, merci, obrigado for the many submissions in our contest asking readers to argue in 25 words why corn tortillas are superior to flour, or vice versa. Below are the winners for some of the cities that carry the Mexican; see the full list at www.westword.com. Don’t like…
Dear Mexican: Why are there Mexicans in the Border Patrol? What a hypocritical thing to do to our people.Carne Asada Carlos Dear Wab: Not only are Mexicans in the Border Patrol, but la migra’s own figures show that Latinos make up about 52 percent of its force, comfortably outnumbering gabachos…
Dear Mexican: What’s the fascination that Mexicans have with Elvis?Good Roceando Tonight Dear Gabacho: Your question is spot-on, but it’s taken a while for Elvis to achieve icon status among Mexicans. As recounted in Eric Zolov’s Refried Elvis: The Rise of the Mexican Counterculture, the King largely sparked the roots…
Dear Mexican: Whenever I have a debate with my Chicano hermanos who support open borders and get angry at any type of immigration control, they don’t seem to understand the basic laws of economics, such as the fact that migrant workers who pick fruit, work in construction and do other…
Dear Mexican: What do you think would happen if U.S. citizens could buy land and set up businesses in Mexico as easily as Mexicans can in the U.S.? Might that be a big boost to the Mexican economy? There are provisions in the Mexican Constitution that prevent this, but what…
Dear Mexican: I recently went to a Los Angeles Dodgers game. There are always rivalries in any sport, of course, pero the white people cheering for the St. Louis Cardinals clapped and cheered when their team did something good. When the Dodgers did good, the Mexican fans — mostly homeboys…
Dear Mexican: This might be a seasonal question, but why do Mexicans like swimming in their clothes? Is it a Catholic thing? I remember my pocho Catholic cousin even bathed at home in his T-shirt and underwear through his adolescence. He claims the nuns told him it was a sin…
Dear Mexican: First it was the Native Americans, then the blacks, then the Japanese. For a while, Muslims. Now I fear that American prejudice will soon overwhelm Mexicans. It’s one thing to be called a dirty Jap or border-hopper, but is it possible that America will cause another ethnic group…
Dear Mexican: I’m a Mexican-American, but I always lie and tell people my ancestors were from Spain and immigrated to the United States in the 1920s. My whole family says this. We feel embarrassed if we tell people that our heritage is Mexican because Mexicans in the USA are so…
Dear Mexican: Why did the comedian Cantinflas never catch on in Hollywood? I thought he was supposed to usher in the Mexican wave of actors and movies that would help transform Hollywood.El Curioso Dear Curious: Do people even know who Cantinflas is anymore? For those of you not familiar with…
Dear Readers: My recent column regarding the dissimilarities between Scots and Mexicans provoked a surprising number of responses — both from Irish readers and real Scotsmen furious that letter writer Great Scot could be so pendejo. Here are two: Dear Mexican: I thought the Mexican’s analysis was right on with…
Dear Mexican: Whenever I see the television show COPS, the white folks pull over and hope no one searches anything where there are at least three syringes, one crack pipe and enough pills to make CVS Pharmacy look like a corner drugstore. The black folks are being pulled over for…
Dear Mexican: Consider the similarities between my people, the Celtic Scots, and yours, the Hispanic Mexicans. For centuries, we, too, tried to hold out against our larger and more powerful neighbor. The big difference is that eventually we realized that being uneducated barbarians was no way to beat the English,…
Dear Mexican: Lately I’ve been hearing how punks and metalheads in Mexico are trying to beat up emos because it’s been said that emos make Mexican culture look bad. As a metalhead, I support this, because I don’t see the point in being emo since they are very sensitive and…
Dear Mexican: Our customer-service department uses a phone-tree system that asks callers to press 1 for English, 2 for Spanish, and a few other numbers for commonly spoken languages in our area. I handle customer complaints as part of my job, and I get a surprising number of complaints from…
Dear Mexican: On my desk is a levy from the Internal Revenue Service for over $12,000 in unpaid taxes. Turns out some dude used my Social Security number for two years in Albuquerque and didn’t bother to pay taxes. It’s taken me plenty in time and attorney’s fees to figure…
Dear Mexican: Why are indigenous peoples from north of the Rio Grande called redskins and those from south of it called brown-skinned?El Hijo del Paleface Dear Gabacho: “Redskin” dates back to the sixteenth century, but its etymology is still being debated. Some historians say it’s a reference to scalping, others…
