Jelly Belly gives itself a hand

In Britain, a rogue jelly baby was found in a particular state of euphoria amongst his rubbery pals.

Lyz Parker, who lives in Middlesex (convenient) purchased some candy at a local store; when she opened the bag in her office, she noticed the gummy guy holding his micro-parts with his left hand. As she screamed in horror (possibly she was having an ex-boyfriend flashback), colleagues surrounded her desk, gazing at the little Lothario with his twigs and berries in their pink molded glory.

Parker called the candy manufacturer, who reportedly thought the call was a prank until she showed them the evidence. The store is investigating the situation. “We expect better behavior from our jelly sweets,” they told a reporterr. “We’ll raise it with the supplier.”

Which is already at half staff.