Sloth

I’m well aware of the seven deadly sins, and while exploring Slim Seven, I saw them all. Pride: The lack of signage for the new bar seems to indicate a certain amount of self-importance, which I love. In fact, finding Slim Seven is part of its charm, since the entrance to this sliver of a saloon is located in the alley behind Larimer Street, between 14th and 15th streets. Envy: I can’t believe I never thought to convert a seemingly unusable basement space with no windows into the town’s latest hot spot, complete with martini chandeliers, fashionable cowhide chairs and bathroom walls covered in AstroTurf. Gluttony: A friend’s reserved table came complete with bottles of Patrón ($170), Grey Goose ($190) and Maker’s Mark ($140), with a bevy of mixers to match. For many men, “bottle service” is a surefire way to get women to sit down; it’s like setting out duck decoys, sitting in the blind and waiting for unsuspecting birds to land. Greed: Starting out with three bottles means you’re anticipating a very busy night. Lust: Watching the gyrating couples on the dance floor is enough to make you need a cold shower. Anger: That cute group of twenty-something Broncos in the back corner didn’t notice that anyone else existed. Sloth: I actually didn’t see much sloth in this good-looking crowd, so I went with the Sloth cocktail ($9), made with Red Bull, Grey Goose L’Orange vodka, peach liqueur and a splash of cranberry. I’m sure that with a couple more Sloths, I could have added several additional trespasses to the seven deadly sins.