Sunday at Chipotle is free food day for kids

While it was the pozole at Chipotle that pissed off Jason Sheehan, it was the ridiculous amount of time I wasted trying to get my hands on an effing kid’s menu — part of the homegrown burrito chain’s recent menu overhaul — that made me want to shove a few heads face-first into a vat of that pozole.

The first Chipotle staffer who picked up the phone said she’d fax me a kid’s menu; she didn’t. I called a second Chipotle, only to get another woman on the horn promising to do the same; she was a copycat of the first woman. On my third try, I chose a different tactic, simply asking the guy on the other end if he could kindly tell me what was on the kid’s menu. Nope, too busy. Just so you know, I didn’t start dialing digits (or harassing Chipotle employees) until I searched endlessly — and unsuccessfully — on the joint’s website for anything that remotely resembled a menu for twerps. I’m pretty certain it doesn’t exist.

Now would be a good time to thank me for dragging my butt out in a blinding blizzard, just so I could tell you that this Sunday, and again on April 26, May 3 and May 10, all Colorado Chipotle locations, save for those in Colorado Springs, are handing out complimentary kids meals. FREE! FOOD! There’s a catch, of course: In order to feed your kids for free, someone in your party has to order a gut-busting object of heft from the menu. Translation: burrito or burrito bowl.

So, what do the kids get? They can choose from build-it-yourself hard or soft shell tacos assembled with meats and accompaniments, plus rice, corn chips and a drink; a small cheese quesadilla or a single taco with chips and a drink. Here’s hoping that your child will get his food in less than two hours, which is the time it took me to track down a damn kid’s menu.