Ask a Stoner: How to Stay High on the Sly at Thanksgiving

Dear Stoner: I voted to legalize marijuana, but I’m getting tired of smelling pot around town, and this new law allowing people to smoke outside of their homes is only going to make it worse. Is all of Denver going up in smoke?

Dear Worried: The hope is that the new law will improve your quality of smell outside. Theoretically, people like me wouldn’t try to smoke in our cars or in parking lots and alleys if we had places in town where we could legally consume marijuana. And these spots won’t pop up everywhere; the new ordinance only allows vaping and edibles in private areas inside and smoking in private outside areas like back patios and rooftops (a new Colorado rule prohibits any establishment with a liquor license from applying for social consumption), and a business needs the approval of a neighborhood group, like a city-registered organization, for a permit. That won’t stop people from smoking in parks, concerts or other public spaces in Denver, but it should help concentrate and reduce skunky smells in the city — or at least that’s what initiative organizers hope.

If you don’t think it’s working out, your opinion could play a role in how long the ordinance lives. This is a four-year pilot program, meaning that Denver City Council will review it after four years and decide whether to continue it. Let’s wait for the permits to be issued and see how it goes. Maybe downtown will get less rowdy on the weekends.
Dear Stoner: I really want to get high before Thanksgiving dinner, but it’ll be with some family from around the country, and a lot of them aren’t cool with weed. Any advice?
Chief Toker

Dear Chief: I faced the same dilemma in my college years, but I was lucky enough to have Thanksgiving without a Catholic grandmother or baby-faced niece staring at me from across the table, so my parents always got over it. I smoked out of one-hitters and apples and blew in toilet-paper rolls covered in dryer sheets to hide the smell back then, but you can be much more inconspicuous now.

The first and obvious choice would be a pre-filled hash pen. The smell of its vapor is faint and doesn’t linger in the air or on your hands and clothes. You could sneak some quick puffs in the garage or back yard when the coast is clear, or even in your bedroom with the window open. They hit harder than you think initially, though, so take it easy or your coughing might give you away. You could also eat edibles ninety minutes or so before gorging yourself. Something small and potent, like a Cheeba Chew or an infused drink, would give you a strong case of the munchies without ruining your appetite.

Send questions to [email protected] or call the potline at 303-293-2222.
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Herbert Fuego is the resident stoner at Westword, ready to answer all your marijuana questions.
Contact: Herbert Fuego