Kobe Bryant chucked a lot of junk at the hoop and had poor stats in clutch moments, but his delusional fans still try to inject his name into conversations about LeBron and MJ. (Feel free to email me your hot takes that argue otherwise.) Needless to say, I’m not a fan. So when I saw a strain named Black Mamba — the nickname of the all-time clunker — I abstained. But then a plump, purple cut on display at Verde Natural persuaded me to give it a try.
Like most egotistical turds without any friends to give him one, Kobe had to adopt his own nickname, one that he thought signified how his superior competitive ability would finish his opponents with the venom-like ferocity of an African snake. The Black Mamba strain, however, is anything but forced, with at least three different variants all deserving of the moniker. The oldest, most traditional cut carries Grand Daddy Purple and Black Domina genetics, while another bred from the Cube and Mint Chocolate Chip is gaining steam around town. The Critical Mass and Skunk version is the least popular.
Both the Grand Daddy Purp and Mint Chocolate Chip versions are potent indicas, known for putting users into a drooling bliss before an inevitable nap. Deep purple tones, responsible for the “Black” in the name, contrasting against milky trichomes make either Black Mamba cut look like giant Spree candies. The THC content is generally higher in the younger Mint Chocolate Chip version, though, with its Girl Scout Cookies lineage creating more of a psychedelic effect than the others.
Kobe Bryant could save a dozen blind babies from a burning building (say that ten times fast), and I’d still hate him. He beat my favorite teams more often than not, and he did it in a selfish way that I despised, even inspiring a statistic called the “Kobe assist,” for players making shots off the misses of their teammates. And while I don’t hate Black Mamba’s grape flavors or restful effects by any means, it certainly makes me a ball hog.
Say goodbye to any incentive to clean your house, answer the phone or finish your homework after a bowl of this midnight indica — and try to avoid anyone your laziness might impede upon, because you’ll be way too groggy and focused on food to care. The strain’s sedating and close-minded high is good for personal therapy, but it doesn’t always play well with others.
Life Flower Dispensary, Peak and Verde Natural Wellness have all recently carried Black Mamba. Life Flower and Peak both sell flower from other grows, and since all three stores carry the same dense, violet take on the Mint Chocolate Chip version, it’s safe to assume that Denver’s supply of Black Mamba is coming from Verde’s wholesale cultivation.
Smell: A candy-like mixture of sweet and tart aromas with sugary scents of grapes or berries is rounded out with zesty soil notes, creating an uplifting floral scent with a syrupy finish.
Flavor: Sweet flavors of grape Kool-Aid are rounded out by floral and earthy notes, giving Black Mamba a sugary, Kush flavor similar to Grape Ape, but with more of a spicy, grainy back end.
Effects: Black Mamba will almost always put users to sleep, inevitably robbing them of energy, wit and fucks to give. Luckily, its sedating effects aren’t as selfish as Kobe, creating at least an hour of stupid bliss and wanderlust before you become a sloth. Anxiety, stress, eating and sleeping disorders, minor pain, nausea and headaches have all been treated by the strain.
Home grower’s take: “I’ve never dealt with the new one that has Cookies genetics, but I imagine it takes a little longer and yields a little less than the classic [Grand Daddy/Black Domina] one. That one takes no more than eight weeks and yields a shitload — almost two pounds per plant, which is really, really good for those Purple strains. The high is kind of listless, but it tastes good and grapey, like you’d expect.”
Is there a strain you’d like to see profiled? Email email@example.com.
Keep Westword Free... Since we started Westword, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Denver, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Denver with no paywalls.