Dear Stoner: So I heard cows got high from eating hemp. Does that mean if I feed my cow hemp or weed, its milk is going to get me stoned?
Bobby B.

Dear Bobby: Bees pollinating hemp flower have shown the capability of producing CBD honey, so this wouldn't be unheard of. There is some supporting science, too: A German study published in Nature Food Journal last month detailed how researchers fed dairy cows meals of corn, a whole-plant hemp blend and a mix of hemp flower, leaves and seeds over a six-day period. According to the results, cows eating the corn and whole-plant feeds showed no differences, but those eating the hemp flower had red eyes, altered breathing and lower heart rates within hours, and also began drooling, yawning and playing with their tongues; cows eating hemp flower had awkward posture, ate less and produced less milk, as well.
The study found traceable amounts of THC in dairy produced by the cows eating the hemp flower but failed to conclude if or how the milk affected humans. However, ingested THC and milk fat like to bond together, and cows have complex digestive systems that produce a good amount of heat. And even if the cow's digestive process alone didn't activate the THC, the 150-plus degrees reached during milk pasteurization could have done the trick. Cows don't enjoy eating weed like we do, though, so stick to infusing milk over the stove with a spice ball instead.

Send questions to [email protected]