45 Second Reviews

Ali & AjInsomniatic

Hollywood Records 02:00-02:45 of “Potential Breakup Song”

I think I might have stumbled into some strange tween land because I’m a little embarrassed to have this in my hands. Perhaps even more embarrassed that I’m nodding my head and tapping my toe. I mean, they’re right, “You’re not living until you’re living with me.” And that’s the truth, I mean, from a critical point of view I have absolutely no idea whether or not you exist, so as far as I’m concerned you aren’t living until we make contact with each other, in which case I will recognize that fact. It’s deep stuff in “Potential Breakup Song.”

The Forms Alpha Rebel Group 00:45:-01:30 of “Red Gun”

This kind of sounds like if Travis Morrison would have fronted Slowdive and Fugazi would have been the backup band. It’s bad or good – I don’t know, it reminds me stuff, is that good?

Ghostface Killah The Big Doe Def Jam 01:30-02:15 of “Super GFK”

Maybe it’s just me, but this isn’t very good. Perhaps its just because Fishscale was so unbelievably amazing that this song just doesn’t have the consistency of that. The rhymes are pretty poor, whatever is happening in the background – is that supposed to be a beat? – is horrendous. This sounds like it was put together by a 12 year old in his mom’s basement.

Glass Candy Beatbox Italians Do it Better 00:20-01:05 of “Etheric Device”

For whatever reason I thought this band was like, not dance music. Either way, this is terrible. For whatever reason uninventive dance bands think its okay to get some doofus girl to come up and “sing” which just translates to “talk like a boring robot.” If I wanted to hear that I’d stroll up and down the 16th street mall with a tape recorder and a reverb pedal.

Pittsburgh Slim Tastemaker Def Jam Records 01:23-02:08 of “Girls Kiss Girls”

I’m a little startled because as of this 45 second long snippet I’m kind of intrigued. He uses the word “rad” to describe a couple of girls making out in front of him. Rad. No joke. It’s fairly straight forward modern produced rap, with a vibe like Spank Rock or the booty shaking hits of Bass Mekanik. I’m gonna have to declare this “tasty.”

-- Thorin Klosowski

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